Actualy, it wasn't Lauryn Hill:

"I see the way you look at me
As if to say its right
I pray for you day in and day out

Something's happening to me
The man I used to be is gone
He gave up his life
So I could go on Girl, on in heaven

Where the love of a lifetime resides In you
Girl there's heaven in you babe

Oh Girl and it's so meant to be
This place where two souls collide
There's no pain, no fear, only you and I

Something's happening to me
The man I used to be is gone
He gave up his life
So I could go on and on

Girl, on in heaven
Where the love of a lifetime resides
Somewhere in you girl

I've been looking for heaven baby
See I spent my lifetime only to find
Heaven's in you, girl
Heaven's in you baby

Here I spent a lifetime
Trying to find heaven
Searching my lifetime
Trying to find heaven yeah

Gotta find you
Come on girl
Heaven's in you baby
Yeah it's right there

Inside your heart baby I've been looking for heaven baby
Where the love of a lifetime yeah,
It resides somewhere in you girl.

I've been looking for heaven babe
See I spent my lifetime
Trying to find it
I want you baby
I want to give my love to you

Heaven's right there in your heart girl
Heaven's inside of you
Heaven's inside of you
Heaven's in you
Heaven's in you babe
It's right there
On the inside
Heaven's in you girl

You're like heaven
You're the love of a lifetime
And I find my strength in you"


See, not every man is correct,
nor every womans need suspect.

Often, life in love is just a series of mistakes
that are caused by following what we see w/our eyes,
while ignoring the genuine words that we feel and hear w/our heart!

Writing, not only clears the mind

It provides space for the soul to sing as well!
For me then,
I'll step away from the keyboard
and reflect on the day.

Reflect on the sights
and words that came to me,
and find reason to write again.

In the between though,
think as you do
but be willing to change too.

For change is neccesary,
if you're ever going to really believe in more than right now!

The Risk of Love: by Kris Hydmore

There is a risk involved in everything
Every time you share a smile
Every time you shed a tear
You are opening yourself up to hurt.

Some people tread slowly through life,
Avoiding the closeness risk brings,
Side-stepping the things they can't understand
Turning away from those who care too much,
Those who care stay too long,
Those who hold too tightly.

There is never an easy way to love
You can not approach it cautiously
It will not wait for you to arm yourself.

It does not care if you turn away
It is everywhere, it is everything.

Love is the greatest of all risks.
It is not reliable, it is not cautious,
It is not sympathetic
It is unprejudiced and unmerciliess.

It strikes the strongest of mind,
And brings them to their knees in one blow.
Even in the best of times,
love hurts.It hurts to need, it hurts to belong,

It hurts to be the other part of someone else,
Without either of your consent.
But, from the moment it overtakes you,
It hurts worse to be all alone.

The risk of love never depletes;
It grows stronger and more dangerous with time.

But, it's in the total surrender of all defense,
That we, no matter weak or strong,
No matter willing or captive,
No matter what, we truly experience love.

Despite the many things love is not,
Outweighing it all are the things that love is.
Love is surrender without a loss.
It is a gift without the cost.
It consumes your every thought & desire,
Every breath you take.

It is the fire that fuels you
To do more than pass through life;
It urges you, instead, to live.

No matter the outcome,
having felt love,
You will never be the same.

It may scar your heart & soul
And Leave you only memories of forever.
Or, it may cause every day of your life
To feel like there is no need for tomorrow.

But, love is worth it. It is worth the risk...

For in all of life,

Love is truly the only risk worth taking.

Amen!

Remember this then;

The color of a man
only determines how others see him,
for the one who is loved by him though,
all she can see is his heart!

Mine's purple by the way.

Good morning after all;

Today,
today is going to be a great day!

Not just because the rains have returned,
or even because the deer were in the yard again this morning.

Today is going to be a great day
because I desire for it to be.

And whether or not you believe this,
the fact remains that our attitude(s)determine our outcomes.

Last night,
I didn't sleep well.

And yet today,
knowing that it's my life after all,
Today I'm going to be happy!

You,
you can be what ever you want.

Me,
me I'm going to be happy!

As for everyone else,

well the choice is up to you.................

You deserve to live your dream;

When it all boils down,
You deserve to live your dream
The dream that you have held onto
For what seems like forever

You deserve a person who looks at you
With adoring eyes
The one who understands
When your mood changes
Then changes again.

You deserve the one who
Listens
And hears

Not only your words
But your heart

Remember you deserve to live your dream;
Wait patiently
For the one who will dance with you
Even when there is no music

That one who will read to youS
inging your favorite song to you
Although off key
In time to your own special rhythm

You deserve to live your dream
Evenly yoked
to another
Unafraid to pray With you
And for you

The one that has planned
Not SCHEMED.

The one that will catch you
If you decide to lean back
The one whose words are
Transformed into actions

You deserve to live your dream.
So do not allow yesterday
nor yesteryear
To cloud your judgment
And dreams a
nd visions of tomorrow

Make sure that you are prepared
To receive that dream though,
Oryet again;

It will just turn out to become
your ever recurring
nightmare!

Dreaming about Tomorrow

I can see a miracle across the horizon,
an untouchable passion,
which I can see,
burning higher than the flames of love.

Then, right at that moment of clarity,
I know that you’re missing me.

A waterfall of love starts pouring down in front of me.
And as I look into the water with thoughts of you,
all of a sudden,
the sun is setting,
yet, I can see your hand reaching out to me.

It’s as though I can feel you as you can feel me too.
I blink, thinking it’s just a dream,
Still, I blink again.

For strangely,
I can still see you and feel you near.

So now again, I think to myself;
Did this life just get better,
or has my real life finally begun?

What ever happens now is up to us my love.
So let us hold each other close beloved, f
or soon,
our hearts will burn with that passion.
That passion of two, as one, Forever!

Good night my friends;

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question:

"What kind of man are you looking for?"
She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking,
"Do you really want to know?" Reluctantly, he said, "Yes."
She began to expound...

"As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of anyman... or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, "What can you bring to the table?" The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.

She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money." I need something more. I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life."

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.
She said, "I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man.

I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually
because I don't need to be unequally yoked... "believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. "I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don't need a financial burden. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded.

I am looking for someone who I can respect.
In order to be submissive, I must respect him.
I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business.
I have no problem being submissive... he just has to be worthy.

God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself.
When she finished her spill, she looked at him.

He sat there with a puzzled look on his face.
He said, "You are asking a lot.

"She replied, "I'm worth a lot."

Send this to every woman who's worth a lot.... and every man who has the wisdom to understand!!! Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry,
the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.

Kahlil Gibran

The awakening;

A time comes in your life when you finally get it..

When, in the midst of all your fears and insanity,
you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on.

And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum,
your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice,
you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.
You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change...
or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.

You come to terms with the fact that neither of you is Prince Charming
or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always
fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter)
and that any guarantee of happily ever after must begin with you...
and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK.
They are entitled to their own views and opinions.
And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...
and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you.
So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...
and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailtiesand in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself,
and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche.

And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave,
how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear,
what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive,
how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view.
And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into begin with ...
and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive.
And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a consumer looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything,
it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing.
You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love,
when to stop giving and when to walk away.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be.
You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.
And you learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside,
smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.
You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK....
and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want ...
and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love,
kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less.

And you learn that your body really is your temple.
And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect.
You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water,
and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear,
and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest.
And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul.

So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve...
and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for
and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, d
iscipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone...
and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber of all: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state -
the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire.

And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.
And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take a stand,
you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.

Anon;

Sometimes,

I allow myself to think about the possibilities of you,
not just the you that you're becoming,
but more so the you that I've always imagined you can be.

Sometimes,
even when I'm struggling
with all the things that being in a relationship with you entails,
still, I am often able to just look pass your past,
and see into the future that you're creating and smile.

For in this new future,
this new you,
all there is you,
and in that,
even I find peace.

Of course,
as I was going into my day,
I never expected to have these thoughts.

Nor did I even
consider the possibility that having you
soon before me would affect me
any differently than it always has,
but sometimes,
even I can be moved by the unseen,
inspired by the unknown(to you),
encouraged even in my own thoughts,
by the fear(s)
that is within you right now!

Sometimes.

Days

Days in and of themselves
have no regal purpose, and yet,
on this day,
I am reminded of you.

Of your smile.
And even a one such as myself
finds today to be special in that instant.

Thanks!

Friendship

In the beginning
of all the great friendships,
the expectation(s)
alwaysexceeds the warnings.

The trepidation though,
is often lessened
by the longing
each person carries
within,
and that,
is the true
question after all!

Words about the Season;

Our memories of summer are often intense because it is a season blessed with a vividness unsurpassed by any other time of year. Our senses are delighted by the bright colors, fresh scents, vibrant flavors, brilliant sunlight, and heat's caress.

There is a sumptuousness about summertime, as both flora and fauna come into their own, regaling us with natural beauty. Our day-to-day circumstances may not change as spring turns into summer, yet we nonetheless feel refreshed. Our burdens seem lighter, and we feel compelled to play, to travel, to relax, and to experience all of life's joys to their full extent during those extended sunlit hours.

Rituals specific to the summer season empower us to attune ourselves to the changes that take place in nature, and within ourselves as the weather grows warmer. Some summertime rituals are highly personal—remnants of past traditions that we have unconsciously preserved through practice. Others can and will be incorporated into our lives whenever we feel the need to experiencesummer's significance on a deeper level.

Summer then, at its core, is a season of light, and by opening ourselves and our spaces to this light, we honor all the joyassociated with the coming months. Unbolting windows and doors, arranging bright-golden blooms in a vase, and turning our faces toward the sun become a celebration when done with intent.

Summer is also a wonderful time to practice focused listening, as the air is filled with beautiful sounds particular to the season. To begin then, find a quiet, solitary spot. For a few precious minutes, pay attention to the workings of your mind and allow it to wander at will. Then turn your attention to the sounds resonating around you and note what you hear, whether the buzzing of bees, our children's laughter, or the song of distant birds.

Thoughts of summers passed, will likely evoke numerous pleasant and joy-filled images in your mind. However, if what you envision seems little more than a piece of your distant past, you can reacquaint yourself with the joys of summertime by immersing yourself in its real and immediate pleasures. Wake up with the sunrise, take a day trip tothe beach, indulge in an ice cream cone, or simply sit quietly in nature's embrace. For as always, the season will pass quickly, but while it remains in front of you, become enveloped in the richness of this life and renew yourself in the wonder of that it will be, no matter what the season may bring!

Loving you richly.
Missing you fully.
Enjoying our connection nevertheless,

Who's Holiday is it anyway?

To realize The value of a sister,
Ask someone Who doesn't have one.

To realize The value of ten years,
Ask a newly Divorced couple.

To realize The value of four years,
Ask a graduate.

To realize The value of one year,
Ask a student who Has failed a final exam.

To realize The value of nine months,
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize The value of one week,
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize The value of one minute,
Ask a person Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize The value of one-second,
Ask a person Who has survived an accident.


Time waits for no one
Treasure every moment you have.

You will treasure it even more when
you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend or lover,
companion, and/or family member:
lose one before you're ready!

Love,
Breath,
See & Seek.

The rest,
leave to someone who hasn't come as far as you have.

You,

You, who were lost before the beginning, who never came when the call was sent out, me, I do not know which sounds might be precious to you now.

No longer then do I try to recognize you, when, as a surging wave, something is about to manifest within you, before me.

And yet, all the huge images in me, the deeply-sensed far-away landscapes, cities and towers and bridges and un-suspected turns of the path, the powerful life of lands once filled with the presence of gods: all rise with you, to find clear meaning in me, your, forever, elusive one.

You, who are all the gardens I've ever looked upon, and yet, so still full of promise. An open window in a country house,
a warm breeze on a fall day.You, who are, and can always be, within me.

Sometimes,
even though you can't feel a smile from me,
it touches you nevertheless.

Explanations;

Relationships challenge us to accept the unknown of both ourselves and the other,
and this is never easy. Meeting this challenge must be founded on trust.
You need to trust that the other will get whatever they need from you.
You also need to trust that you will get whatever you need from them.

The key word is NEED, not desire.
We are not in relationships to have our desires fulfilled.
It is up to us to fulfill our own desires and stop demanding that they be fulfilled by others.
For example, if you have the desire to be loved,
you must not demand it from someone else.

You fulfill your need for love by expressing it,
and no one can prevent you from doing that.

We usually create difficulties in our relationships
when we let our desires get in the way of the needs.
When we dont get our desires met and that includes things like getting our way,
getting what we want, getting love and attention,
being made to feel important, being shown respect and honor,
and so on we usually get angry, sad, resentful or revengeful.

When that happens we need to stop and ask ourselves what we really need,
and then give it to ourselves rather than demanding it from others.
Its not always easy to know what we need.

While we are conscious of our desires,
our needs are usually related to what we are unconscious of.
Thats why intimacy is an important aspect of all relationships.

Intimacy exposes the unconscious and teaches us trust.
Intimacy helps us to recognize needs and awakens the love to respond to those needs.
It especially empowers us to meet our own needs.

Intimacy says: you are acceptable and lovable just as you are.
It helps to remember that soul is the underlying guide of all relationships.

We always get what we need in our relationships
because the soul always responds to need.
If we dont recognize this,
the problem lies only in our lack of awareness and understanding.

All of our relationships have the potential of showing us who we are as souls,
and asking us to relate as souls to the other.

Thats why our relationship challenges are such powerful forces for personal growth!

In this Life(pmr):

In this life,
there is love that goes unused.

Love that goes unclaimed.
Sometimes,
there is even Love that goes away!

In this way,
many people are made sad, or bitchy,
or angry, or depressed, or sometimes,
just plain confused about life.

In that void,
because of that emptiness
We, those that are not afraid of love
we connect.

Even without touching
we make love
with words
we share love,
even with our thoughts
mostly unspoken.

Which oddly enough,
is the reason there
is real love anyway.

Me, I just like that about life.
No matter the season
I will always be drawn to those
unafraid to feel.

Like you!

Enjoy this day my friend,
and as always,
be blessed as you love again!

Directions to our Father's House;

I really like this one. Someone spent a lot of time on this..

"As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

Make a Right onto Believeth Blvd.
Keep straight and go through the Green Light, which is Jesus Christ.
There, you must turn onto the Bridge of Faith,
which is over troubled water.

When you get off the bridge,
make a Right turn and Keep Straight.
You are on the King's Highway - Heaven-bound.

Keep going for three miles:
One for the Father,
One for the Son, and One for the Holy Ghost.

Then exit off onto Grace Blvd.
From there, make a Right turn on Gospel Lane.

Keep Straight and then make another Right on Prayer Road.

As you go on your way,
Yield Not to the traffic on Temptation Ave.

Also, avoid SIN STREET because it is a DEAD END.

Pass up Envy Drive, and Hate Avenue.

Also, pass Hypocrisy Street, Gossiping Lane, and Backbiting Blvd.

However, you have to go down Long-suffering Lane,
Persecution Blvd. And Trials and Tribulations Ave.
But that's all right, because VICTORY Street is straight ahead!

AMEN!!!!! SEND THESE DIRECTIONS TO YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY SO THEY WILL NOT GET LOST TOO. "Life is God's gift to you. The way you live it............is your gift to God."

Viewpoint(s) shared:

There is a risk involved in everything
Everytime you share a smile
Everytime you shed a tear
You are opening yourself up to hurt.

Some people tread slowly through life,
Avoiding the closeness risk brings,
Side-stepping the things
they can't understand
Turning away from those
who care too much-Those who care too long,
Those who hold too tightly.

There is never an easy way to love
You can not approach it cautiously
It will not wait for you to arm yourself.

It does not care if you turn away
It is everywhere, it is everything.

Love is the greatest of all risks.
It is not reliable,
it is not cautious,
It is not sympathetic
It is unprejudiced
and unmerciliess.

It strikes the strongest of mind,
And brings them to their knees
in one blow.

Even in the best of times,
love hurts.
It hurts to need,
it hurts to belong,
It hurts to be
the other part of someone else,
Without either of your consent.

But, from the moment
it over takes you,
It hurts worse to be all alone.

The risk of love never depletes;
It grows stronger
and more dangerous with time.

But, it's in the total surrender of all defense,
That we,
no matter weak or strong,
No matter willing or captive,
No matter what,
we truly experience love.

Despite the many things love is not,
Outweighing its allure the things that love is:
Love is surrender without a loss.

It is a gift without cost.
For it consumes your every thought & desire,
It is the fire that fuels you
To do more than pass through life;

It urges you,
instead,
to live.

No matter the outcome,
having felt love,
You will never be the same.

It may scar your heart & soul
And leave you only memories of forever.

Or, it may cause every day of your life
To feel like there is no need for tomorrow.

But,
love is worth it.
It is worth the risk...
For in all of life,
Love is truly
the only risk worth taking.

Feeling Our Words(I liked this):

Words Have Weight Words carry energy and this gives language its power and its potential to heal or hurt. Most of us can remember a time that someone sent a word our way, and it stuck with us. It may have been the first time we received a truly accurate compliment, or the time a friend or sibling called us a name, but either way it stuck.

This experience reminds us that what we say has weight and power and that being conscious means being aware of how we use words. The more conscious we become, the more we deepen our relationship to the words we use so that we speak from a place of actually feeling what we are saying. We begin to recognize that words are not abstract, disconnected entities used only to convey meaning; they are powerful transmitters of feeling.

For the next few days, you might want to practice noticing how the words you say and hear affect your body and your emotional state. Notice how the different communication styles of the people in your life make you feel. Also, watch closely to see how your own words come out and what affect they have on the people around you.

You may notice that when we speak quickly, without thinking, or rush to get our ideas across, our words don't carry the same power as when we speak slowly and confidently, allowing those receiving our words time and space to take them in.

When we carefully listen to others before we speak, our words have more integrity, and when we take time to center ourselves before speaking, we truly begin to harness the power of speech. Then our words can be intelligent messengers of healing and light, transmitting deep and positive feelings to those who receive them. Speak truthfully, and live with integrity.

I believe many things;

And yet today;
I believe that directly across from me on this earth
is a being so much like myself.

In their need for love...
their craving for peace...
their desire for unity...
and that person is connecting with me,
even though we can't speak each other's language,
and we eat different foods,
and we wear different clothes,
and play different games.

Even though we differ in every other way,
we are the same in one way.
We are Love.

We are Love...
underneath the fear.

And I believe we can abolish that FEAR!

I believe we can pull it all away
and get to what the core is...
who we really are.

Which is Love!
What do you believe?

"Fear, in whatever form, prevents the understanding of ourselves
and of our relationship to all things."

Good sex...............

…………… like a great relationship,
requires mutual participation.

Without the efforts of two people,
nothing wonderful can develop
when just one person is
willing to share themselves with another.

Whether it is in love,
in bed or even at lunch,
when one provides
and the other is incapable
of meaningful participation,
what fulfillment can come
from such an encounter?

Which of course,
is my way of saying(?)
I’m not just deleting you,
I’m also releasing
you more fully
back into yourself!

Please, enjoy the moon
as it beckons again
tonight.

Lessons learned

After awhile you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean possession
and company doesn't mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses
aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept
your defeats with your head up
and your eyes ahead
with the grace of an adult
not the grief of a child.

And you learn
to build your roads today
because tomorrow's ground
is too uncertain for plans
and futures have ways
of falling down in mid-flight.

After awhile
you learn that
even sunshine
burns if you get too much
so you plant your
own garden
and decorate
your own soul
instead of waiting
for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that
you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn.......


……………..to love freely,
without unfettered strings attached!

In the beginning(s),

God created man,
who subsequently found himself,
alone.

Seeing this,
God was kind enough to craft from the man,
Woman.

Another who from within,
could stand with the man
and complete his life from the opposite,
and/or at least external point of view.

Marriage thus was consummated!

Oddly enough though,
marriage is often no longer a union of the souls,
as it is a contractual agreement.

Question then,
do not geese have a life long partner?

Why then should a Woman not have the same?
Is she not as capable,
as steadfast, as a bird?

Are not men able to put aside
their worldly ambitions
and seek to hold dear
the ambitions spoken
and honorably contained in their vows
and commitments
towards their wives?

If then,
"to have and to hold"
is not a slogan,
then it must be an attainable goal.

For to come full circle in my thought(s),
the goal is to be with another,
not to be with myself.

The goal of marriage
is the relinquishing
of your will to another,
and so to achieve this goal,
consideration must be given
to the one with whom you seek to wed;

Is he a believer in the premise of marriage,
or just a one wanting to hold you
within the framework of a relational contract.

As for the woman,
does she posses
the desire to see you
through the ages,
or only a one seeking
that which is good and safe
in the now?

Marriage,
oddly enough
is about forever.

Forever my man.
Forever your woman.
Forever no matter!

Anything less than that
is not a marriage at all.

Anything less than that
is actually just another
relational construct
for the here and now,
not tomorrow and always.

Which could be good too,
but not the reason
you were crafted from
within though!

Explanations

Life is not external!

For:
Love,
like laughter
comes from within.

For:
Love,
like a smile,
is born from something we think,
more so than what we feel.

And yet;
Love,
like a river though,
can also cause harm and become dangerous,
when not upon its path,
or contained within its course.

I started to think about this
when I received yet another image
of a cross legged woman.

Not that it matters,
but:
there really is more to what a man seeks
from within you
than what can be readily seen
from the photo of a cross legged female!

Even if
that's all you think,
you have to offer him.

Dreaming

Last night as I lost my way into the night, I dreamed of a future that included you in way that I was unfamiliar with.

Seems that in my recollection, I was folding laundry when the phone rang. Hello I said into the handset, only to be startled by your “hello my love”. Odd actually, I seemed to sense more than know that it was you.

Hi, I said in return, is your day going well? “What with the phones ringing and people popping their heads in, I may never get home on time”, you state rather quickly.

Hmn…………… anything you’d like for dinner I ask?

“Seared scallops, roasted vegetables, and an over chilled chardonnay would be nice!” “I’ll call you from the freeway and let you know when I’m within an hour to home.” “By the way, can you draw me a bath too?”

Surely, I answer. For what else could your man say?

Yet laying there after (for I seem to be able to 3rd person my dreams quite well), I was left wondering about the strength within you.
This part of you that needs me all to deeply, and yet, is prepared to control as much of yourself as I’m willing to allow.


Still, I found it unusual to think of you in this way.

Hmn...

In all honesty:

The beauty of meeting another
is not so much the new reality,
Nor the clarity of purpose,
though to finally know who
and what you like in another
can be and is devastating each time it happens.

Yet the true and pure essence
of meeting your muse is that right then,
there are no excuses.

Now there is only the soft note
of a love that will neither leave you,
Nor forsake you,
Even when you know,
That to give in to it,
Is to die to all that you've believed about yourself,
And the world around you.

Therefore:

Is it cruel to say,
May your tears flow like the majestic river
That has poured off the mountains
That surround you now,
Pure,Clear,
Swift,
Icy cold,
And very much,
Alive!

Well then,
For right now,
May your tears be
All that you know and love,
Forever.

In the between, may what you share here, radiate into your personal orbits as well!

Night

Last night as I lay in bed,
I could feel your arms around me.

Holding me, comforting me,
loving me.

In my dreams,
I could feel your body,
laying next to mine.

Cradling me,
comforting me,
loving me.

Waking to the morning sun,
I realize it was only a dream,
having your arms
and your body next to mine.

Holding me,
comforting me,
loving me.

I wait for the next time
you enter my dreams.

In anticipation of your arms
wrapped around me,
holding me,
comforting me,
loving me.

For I know someday,
my dreams may become
a reality.

Anon:

Someday,
we will float
Wave, upon wave

In calm azure waters
Your soul and mine

Between heavenly skies
And crystal ocean

We shall ebb and flow
Entwined in warmth

As the universe evolves
Stars form and die

Our love will ride
As whispers in the wind

Always and forever
We will remain

What was her name again(?):

When the earth is embraced by the velvet night
and the stars shed their silver lining,
I close my eyes, and can see you sleeping.

You lie amid soft linen,
sleeping, gently.
Your eyes are closed,
lost to the world of sweet dreams.

Each gentle rise and
fall of your chest is rhythmic,
strong as your dark form moves
beneath the glow of starlight.

And I watch on,
breathless,
while the moon's silver hand
glides through the parted curtain,
caressing your bare chest.

I wonder why,
soothed by the peacefulness
of the dreamy world of sleep,
my heart knows no rest(?).

Thursday

Often,
and even when I least expect it,
the rains will come and I'll find my paper walls depleted.

This time though,
as the rains fell,
I smiled.

Actually, I thought of you and then I smiled.

Thanks!

Still

In the distance that seperates us, one from the other,
I think the most important lesson to understand is honesty.

For without my ability to belive in you,
why should it matter to me if you're you, or another?

Niether of you matter without the truth anyway!

So in the between then,
read and try to understand,
for without words, who can still be listening?

Surely, not the Moon, nor I.

Words!

Words, in and of themselves are often very beautiful to here and speak.

True enough, the insincere use of certain words has led to their becoming less significant than the original purpose behind them, but that is not what I came here to talk about today.Today, I just want to clarify a few words (as is my overall desire anyway).

Should you see yourself in these words, feel free to correct me, and/or yourself.

Our first word is: NICE

Nice adj 1: pleasant or pleasing or agreeable in nature or appearance; "what a nice fellow you are and we all thought you so nasty"- George Meredith; "nice manners"; "a nice dress"; "a nice face"; "a nice day"; "had a nice time at the party"; "the corn and tomatoes are nice today" [ant: nasty] 2: socially or conventionally correct; refined or virtuous; "from a decent family"; "a nice girl" [syn: decent] 3: done with delicacy and skill; "a nice bit of craft"; "a job requiring nice measurements with a micrometer"; "a nice shot" [syn: skillful] 4: excessively fastidious and easily disgusted; "too nice about his food to take to camp cooking"; "so squeamish he would only touch the toilet handle with his elbow" [syn: dainty, overnice, prissy, squeamish] 5: noting distinctions with nicety; "a discriminating interior designer"; "a nice sense of color"; "a nice point in the argument" [syn: discriminate] 6: exhibiting courtesy and politeness; "a nice gesture" [syn: courteous, gracious]

Our second word is: STRONG

Strong adj 1: having strength or power greater than average or expected; "a strong radio signal"; "strong medicine"; "a strong man" [ant: weak] 2: used of syllables or musical beats [syn: accented, heavy] 3: not faint or feeble; "a strong odor of burning rubber" 4: having or wielding force or authority; "providing the ground soldier with increasingly potent weapons" [syn: potent] 5: having a strong physiological or chemical effect; "a potent toxin"; "potent liquor"; "a potent cup of tea" [syn: potent] [ant: impotent] 6: able to withstand attack; "an impregnable fortress"; "fortifications that made the frontier inviolable" [syn: impregnable, inviolable, secure, unassailable, unattackable] 7: of good quality and condition; solidly built; "a solid foundation";

Our third word is: COOPERATIVE

Cooperative adj 1: involving the joint activity of two or more; "the attack was met by the combined strength of two divisions"; "concerted action"; "the conjunct influence of fire and strong dring"; "the conjunctive focus of political opposition"; "a cooperative effort"; "a united effort"; "joint military activities" [syn: combined, concerted, conjunct, conjunctive, united] 2: done with or working with others for a common purpose or benefit; "a cooperative effort" [ant: uncooperative] 3: willing to adjust to differences in order to obtain agreement [syn: accommodative]

Our fourth word is: LOVE

Love n 1: a strong positive emotion of regard and affection; "his love for his work"; "children need a lot of love" [ant: hate] 2: any object of warm affection or devotion; "the theater was her first love" or "he has a passion for cock fighting"; [syn: passion] 3: a beloved person; used as terms of endearment [syn: beloved, dear, dearest, loved one, honey] 4: a deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction; "their love left them indifferent to their surroundings"; "she was his first love" 5: a score of zero in tennis or squash; "it was 40 love"

Nice, Strong Cooperative, Love.

Words all!

Words, as you should know by now dear friend(s), are more to me than all of the pursuits any man could choose to follow other the greatest pursuit of all; the loving of our gracious and merciful God. Therefore, when you hear words from, and/or speak words into mylife, please be kind enough to make them words that we may both actually understand the meaning.

For otherwise, something truly wonderful can be destroyed, or even less beautiful, something not quite wonderful could be all that we have left...........................................

I saw you again today..............

.................. at first, it was just the whisper of your song that I heared,
and then, it was presence of your smile that I felt upon my own,
funny even now, how much I liked it still.

So it all seems so strange now,
for here I am without you;
Yet, when I close my eyes,
still, I see you so clearly again.

Often:

Contained within the struggle is more than just the simple beauty of a closed and longing heart, and yet, without the frost, how does the flower know when to bloom again?

Therefore:

Love like rain,
is a constant and still,
not always easily received.

Sunshine, like the rain, is a given.

Therefore, in between the abstract of longing and real love,
there has to be a willingness to be honest,
and a desire to be seen like the flower,
seen, as we really are!

In missing you then,
it goes without saying that my desire to always be close,
is more than just a passing shower.

For like the rain, I'm only just a moment away!

Something to ponder.................

.............. If You want to grow in your life,
you must cultivate curiosity,
For it becomes an unending study of joy.

If you want to cure boredom, be curious.
If you are curious, nothing is a chore.

Children know how to wonder,
that's why they're so endearing.

But be careful it doesn't lead you in the wrong path.

The trick is knowing when you've gone too far!

Honesty.............

................... is more beautiful than You are to me!

Sometimes,
the mystery,
the nuances of a photo,
and of a person's aura
are compelling enough to invoke an insight into that person's soul
and the essense of who they are or who they could potentially be

Maybe,
I find this more intriguing than actually meeting a person.

For a picture doesn't lie
...words do in a corrupt society,
...driven by lust, jealousy and greed.

Therefore, I love simplistic innocense
...such realness is pure.

The Pond

The Most Beautiful Lily in the Pond
she longs to view each day.

It's petals virginal white,
send shivers to her spine,
calling her,
taunting her,
with promise of its hidden passion.

Her soul,
it caresses with whispers of the bluest fire,
and to it one day she knows the wind shall carry all of her untaimed desires.

Beloved Valentine

Life, like lovers and friends,
is a varied and vibrant series of beautiful possiblities and promises!

Surely then, each to his and her own,
and yet all made possible becasue of the excellant majesty of His thrown.

Therefore, won't you take a moment and thank the one true Love of your life
during your Valentines day celebration.

Not to say that the joy and pleasure of this mortal world is not enough(?),
but won't the exquisite music and lovingly embraced tears be so much more real, in Heaven!

Swashbuckler, the Story

Swashbuckler, the story:

Recently, while I was traveling on the California coast with some of my coaching colleagues and friends, I came across a tragically fake copy of a man that I used to be.

Actually, it was one the woman that I was traveling with, who noticed this individual in our midst, and reminded me that today, so many men want to be more than they can readily translate easily words (her exact quote: look, he’s playing past himself!), and therefore they use bluster and imagined bravado to display their intent and imaginary talents.

As a man, I am still unashamed to say that for more than a moment in my past, often I was openly referred to as that “eastern swashbuckler”, as in, you must have met him. At first, I thought of this as a semi-flattering term, and even was called upon to exemplify the ways in which the talents displayed themselves in business and social settings, for others in my circle thought it unusual that I developed this persona by accident.

So, needless to say, to look upon this man, and then hear a stranger to our group refer to him as a swashbuckling idiot, I was both angered and confused.What had happened to the notion that a man who possessed the ability to be both daredevil and explorer, fortune-hunter and globetrotter, hero and madcap, opportunist, and pioneer, rogue and romantic, soldier and speculator, traveler and venturer, was anything other than good friend?

How did become that such a man was now looked upon as a big talking blusterer. Or worse, someone working with purely his braggadocio, or just a plain bullshitting, egotist, whose’ know-it-all, peacock, show-offish ness and false swagger, identify him as a on who has no true talents?Did I look that way to others I wondered?

And yes, there were those parents, brothers and ex-boyfriends who often thought that I could not be as I appeared, for no man can care and kill using the same tools, yet, I did then, and unfortunately, still do now. Anyhoo, I am still coming back to myself after the brief coaching conference in San Francisco, but still, I am totally baffled by the fact that whenever I go out into cities these days, I am dismayed by the overwhelming lack of love and honesty.

Surely, it must be the fact that I am older now, but gee, what ever happened to the pursuit of craft and the dignity that came from being your own person (man)?

Are we truly as lost as that man?
Or am I just on the wrong Coast again?

I write Becasue

I write because the alternative is to (re)act without a complete thought.

Actually, I write because in writing I find myself, my passion, an outlet for my anger, and a way to live beyond just a pay check. In writing, I often find the core of a person that usually is not readily apparent or discerned any other way.

Interesting then, that we would come to this point again, after all that we just pushed our way through, but I guess that is the way of it all. Intension's, as in my determination to say to you that you were not alone, are all about desiring to reach out and into another being in whom I found(find) compassion, tenderness, and a deeply abiding need to receive love and acceptance.

As you had stated in that initial moment, in your life, there was a one who respected and revered you, and your desire was to be all that you were capable of being with that man. Me, I have been most supportive of that, and have never wavered from my desire to just see you happily released from those past experiences we so easily talked about.

Therefore, my intension's are to always be to you a great and wonderful friend, someone who you learn to trust and respect and discover a desire to be yourself with. Sure, on the other side of your relationship(s), I would welcome a chance to put into practice, all the things that we will have learned about each other, but that is not the goal, nor the prize of our being together now, nor in the future.

A one in who you find peace and honor, Love and acceptance is my aim, no matter what you and I become. For like you, many is the chance, and plenty is the opportunity, but not often do either of us meet a one like what we have discovered in the other here.

So my intension is to see that grow and develop.

If in the between of all that, I meet and marry another, I hope you would honor all that we have shared by coming to the event and offering a toast, I would!

Limitations then are something that if you feel you need, who am I to say your wrong.
Yes, there have been many a bad and uncomfortable moments for you in your life as it revolved around men, but I am a Man after all. Not someone acting like a man, or playing at being a man, but an actual living, breathing, soul searching and redeeming Man!

Someone who you can actually trust and depend upon. True enough, we do have a great non verbal relationship developing and if that's all you have to offer, well who am I to offer an argument? Commitment to your well being and solace for your soul is the perspective that I am working from, and yes, I really do wish you had that in mind for me too, but, we both know that no one can be themselves when trapped in a box, so if your unwilling to take the goodness that you feel when we connect and allow that to thrive and prosper out in the open, well maybe that is something to consider to.

The phone is revealing, true enough.

Actually, while breathing just now, I think you did to!

Maybe there is a danger to this, but for me, I do not see it, nor am I capable of understanding it. Together, we had a great time and shared a beautiful moment. Me, I truly desire to have more of that. Should it be not something that you believe will be as rewarding and as enriching as this, well then I must be wrong about you too................................

Truly, in writing, I can and do reach others.

And I like that too!

What do trees have to do with peace?

Thirty years ago, in the country of Kenya, 90% of the forest had been chopped down. Without trees to hold the topsoil in place, the land became like a desert. When the women and girls would go in searchof firewood in order to prepare the meals, they would have to spend hours and hours looking for what few branches remained.

A woman named Wangari watched all of this happening.

She decided that there must be a way to take better care of the land and take better care of the women and girls. So she planted a tree. And then she planted another. She wanted to plant thousands of trees, but she realized that it would take a very long time if she was the only one doing it. So she taught the women who were looking for firewood to plant trees, and they were paid a small amount for each sapling they grew. Soon she organized women all over the country to plant trees, and a movement took hold. It was called the Green Belt Movement, and with each passing year, more and more trees covered the land. But something else was happening as the women planted those trees. Something else besides those trees was taking root.

The women began to have confidence in themselves. They began to see that they could make a difference. They began to see that they were capable of many things, and that they were equal to the men.They began to recognize that they were deserving of being treated with respect and dignity. Changes like these were threatening to some. The president of the country didn't like any of this. So police were sent to intimidate and beat Wangari for planting trees, and for planting ideas of equality and democracy in people's heads, especially in women's.

She was accused of "subversion" and arrested many times. Once, while Wangari was trying to plant trees, she was clubbed by guards hired by developers who wantedthe lands cleared. She was hospitalized with head injuries. But she survived, and it only made her realize that she was on the right path. For almost thirty years, she was threatened physically, and she was often made fun of in the press. But she didn't flinch. She only had to look in the eyes of her three children, and in the eyes of the thousands of women and girls who were blossoming right along with the trees, and she found the strength to continue. And that is how it came to be that 30 million trees have been planted in Africa, one tree at a time.

The landscapes--both the external one of the land and the internal one of the people--have been transformed. In 2002, the people of Kenya held a democratic election, and the president who opposed Wangari and her Green Belt Movement is no longer in office. And Wangari is now Kenya's Assistant Minister for the Environment.S he is 65 years old, and this year she planted one more tree in celebration and thanksgiving for being given a very great honor:
Wangari Maathai has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

She is the first African woman to receive this award. After she was notified, she gave a speech entitled,"What Do Trees Have To Do With Peace? "She pointed out how most wars are fought over limited natural resources, such as oil, land, coal or diamonds. She called for an end to corporate greed, and for leaders to build more just societies. She added:"Our recent experience in Kenya gives hope to all who have been struggling for a better future. It shows it is possible to bring about positive change, and still do it peacefully. All it takes is courage and perseverance, and a belief that positive change is possible.

That is why the slogan for our campaign was 'It is Possible!'" "On behalf of all African women, I want to express my profound appreciation for this honour, which will serve to encourage women in Kenya, in Africa, and around the world to raise their voices and not to be deterred." "When we plant trees, we plant the seeds of peace and seeds of hope. We also secure the future for our children. I call on those around the world to celebrate by planting a tree wherever you are.
"As she received the Nobel Peace Prize this week in Oslo, she invited us all to get involved: "Today we are faced with a challenge that calls for a shift in our thinking, so that humanity stops threatening its life-support system. We are called to assist the Earth to heal her wounds and in the process heal our own."

Can we accept Wangari's invitation?

When in the mirror of your life

Within this mirror you see,
that the twinkle in your eyes
speaks of the passion that causes your heart to beat so rapidly

Often I wonder, do your lips effect you as they do me?
It is but through my pure imagination that I feel those lips press against mine,
and my heart does pound in the same beat by beat
as I am holding you close in my mind.

Beautiful...Is but the sunrise and of each day that I have purposed because of you.
As perfect is what the sunset will bare witness to at the end of a day soon to come
when I am spending it with you my love,
within the mirror of our lives............ together.

Wanting to discover other people in my work and play life,

I found that by providing the answer,
it often revealed the questions.

Who am I(?) is a question that can best be answered when viewed through the prism,
of who I am not.

Honestly:

I don't want You to be less than I am for the comfort level of those around we may be around.
For I am not a man who will not let you explore your thoughts with me, even when you're unfocused, for that is how I get focused too.

I am not a man who does not kiss and touch gently to stimulate you as we begin to make love, but sometimes it's just sex.

I am not a man who does not allow your natural rhythms for sleep, food, relaxation, work and exercise to be what they are, or need to be.

I am not a man who is not fascinated by what's in your mind, as you need to with my own.

I am a man who doesn't care how I dress or look, Yet I am focused on how you do, and I will respond to you standing before me in a short skirt and heels, a house coat, or nothing at all.

I am a man who will not, nor can not withhold himself from my family, my love, my sex, my thoughts, my activities, my ambitions, my fantasies, my writings.

I am a man who will allow you to love him and express it in the way that is yours to express, who does demands it look a certain way pre-determined by me, yet real Love has many faces, so I am flexible.

I am a man who abuses my strength and capability for my own laziness, deceit or denial, for I am often too much and so I have to temper myself around others, sometimes, maybe even you.

I am a man who can care for himself and you, and if need be, financially. But first, I reclaim all that is mine, at least for my own issues of self.

I am a man who would ask you to do something for him that he knew would hurt, or endanger you, or some part of my life, but only as a tool to your outer growth and inner amazement.

I am not a man who uses pornography. Or has a secret sex life.

I am not a man who will tolerate anyone hurting those I love because I am out of touch with me, nor for that matter, those who you love aside from me.

I am a man who does not know how to be any less than you are in all of your activities and thoughts, no matter how small or large.

I am a man who does not understand your physicality...both the strength and the chronic pain. Though I am not a man who does not appreciate what you have done in your life with the handicaps of pain and limitation is profound and I will support you with massage, a watchful eye, a healthy lifestyle and a heavy hand.

I am a man who is at peace around his parents.

I am a man who does see what your children mean to you and I will create opportunities to your parenting and their growth therein.

I am a man who accepts your friends on a basic level, and will desire to not characterize them negatively in a way designed to plump himself up, but I will not accept less than the best for you, from them.

I am not a man who has any prejudice toward any peoples, individuals, or groups, unless it’s the government, but I am not tolerant nevertheless.

I am not a man who is tied heavily to a doctrine that causes him to be narrow in his humanity or intellect.

I am not a man who is afraid of manual labor.

I am not a man who relies on alcohol, drugs, or any activity to be an obsession and an exclusion from others, but I do have some very strong areas of focus and commitment.

I am a man who deploys his leavings around the house....newspapers, corks, socks, wrappers... As though to say it is always someone else's job to follow me, but I am aware of this habit and attempt to make up for it in my cooking and addiction to doing the laundry. The flowers that I also leave all over the place and of course, my humble love and tenderness, which also translates into the rest of the relationship.

I am a man who does help you to grow sexually through our intimacy and I value sex, yet strive more towards completeness and not just the act itself.

I am a man who does not reflect on his behavior towards others, but I am thoughtful about my love and how she thinks and feels.

I am a man, who does open doors for you, and hope for and often pray that you will seek to open a door for me every now and then.

I am a man who is not often well groomed, but I seek to please you with my appearance, even if I know you can not see me.

I am a man who is not present when he's present, but I will always seek to say so when I can, and you are more than welcome to invite me in, on those occasions when you see that I am out..........there!

I am a man who doesn't understand and like romance............lol!

I am a man who does like his woman getting harmless attention (looks, etc) from men, though overly flirty can be addictive.

I am a man who knows a big and foolish mistake is to take you for granted.

I am not a man who lacks passion and hasn't used his own experiences, good and not, to energize his life.

I am not a man who criticizes you for things you like as though they are silly, even when to me, they may indeed be.

I am not a man who feels "female" activities are somehow less than "male" ones. Like having lunch with a girlfriend is a silly hen coffee clutch thing, but having a beer with the boys is the real thing. Or, one who objects to you having a beer with the boys, maybe.

I am not A man, who doesn't see YOU as you are,
nor often do I want you to be to me whoever it is I may think I need to you to be for my unresolved issues and partially broken heart.

Truly, I just like people to be themselves and therefore open to the honesty
that dwells within us both!

Something else to consider:

What's It All About?

Life isn't about keeping score.
It's not about how many friends you have.
Nor about if you have plans this weekend or if you're alone.

It isn't about who you're dating, who you used to date,
how many people you've dated,
or if you haven't been with anyone at all.

It isn't about who you have kissed, it's not about sex.
It isn't about who your family is or how much money they have.
Or what kind of car you drive.
Or where you went to school.

It's not about how beautiful or ugly you are.
Or what clothes you wear, what shoes you have on,
or what kind of music you listen to.

It's not about if your hair is blonde, red, black, or brown.
Or if your skin is too light or too dark.

It's not about what grades you get, how smart you are,
how smart everybody else thinks you are,
or how smart standardized tests say you are.

It's not about what clubs you're in or how good you are at "your" sport.
It's not about representing your whole being on a piece of paper
and seeing who will "accept the written you.

"But, life is about who you love and who you hurt.
It's about who you make happy or unhappy purposefully.
It's about keeping or betraying trust.

It's about friendship, used as a sanctity or a weapon.
It's about what you mean and say, maybe hurtful, maybe heartening.
It's about starting rumors and contributing to petty gossip.
It's about what judgments you pass and why.

And who your judgments are spread to.

It's about who you've ignored with full control and intention.
It's about jealousy, fear, ignorance, and revenge.
It's about carrying inner hate or love, letting it grow, and spreading it.

But most of all;
It's about using your life to touch or poison other people's hearts
in such a way that could have never occurred alone.

Only you choose the way those hearts are affected,
and those choices are what life's all about.


~~author unknown

A River Runs Through It [Life lessons offered by rivers]

Rivers eventually reach the sea,
rejoining the “source.”

In completing their lives,
they offer replenishment to the oceans,
so that life may continue.

Without this cycle, we’d have no rain, and no rivers.
[We’d also have no rainbows.]

The sea is always the same,
yet is always changing.
The same water has been there for eons,
yet it’s been cycled over and over into clouds,
rain, lakes and rivers.

Ever-flowing; ever-changing,
life is also always the same,
Yet is always changing.

How you live therefore is a choice.

Perhaps the way you live your life could,
like rivers and the sea,
touch, enrich and nourish all those with whom you come into contact.


From a Hawaiian poem:
Be like the ocean.
Be open to changes,
be excited about new challenges and share these moments with each other in the new year!

Moving

Moving in the direction of being one mind.
Learning the essence of your soul,
treasuring your time.

Waiting to hear your voice
and imagine your touch.

Basking in the radiance of your beauty,
I would enjoy that very much.

Being tied to your strings and twisted all around.
My destination is your heart,
where I want to be bound.

Staying on course along the road that I have traveled a time or two.
Moving in the direction that will end with you.


By: Shirley A. Jackson

The front row

Life is a theater, so invite your audience carefully.

Not everyone is worthy enough and/or healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives.
There are even some people in your life that need to be loved from a great distance, yet, I am moving away from the topic.

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize your time aroind draining , negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships, friendships, fellowship even! Observe the relationship around you. Pay attention to which ones have left and which ones still lean upon you? which ones encourage and which ones discourage? which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones going downhill? when you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, and appreciate you and the gift that lies within you?

The more you seek God and the things of God--- the more you seek quality, the more you seek not just the hand of God but the face of God---therefore, the more you seek things that are honorable--- the more you seek growth, peace, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW and who should be move to the balcony of life of your life.

You cannot change the people around you.... but you can change the people you are around! Ask God for wisdom and discernment and choose wisely the people who sit in the FRONT ROW of life.

Beautiful words...

"To believe is to know that every day is a new beginning.
It is to trust that miracles happen, and dreams really do come true.
To believe is to see angels dancing among the clouds,
To know the wonder of a stardust sky and the wisdom of the man in the moon.

To believe is to know the value of a nurturing heart,
The innocence of a child's eyes and the beauty of an aging hand,
for it is through their teachings we learn to love.

To believe is to find the strength and courage that lies within us.
When it is time to pick up the pieces and begin again.
To believe is to know we are not alone,
That life is a gift and this is our time to cherish it.

To believe is to know that wonderful surprises are just waiting to happen,
And all our hopes and dreams are within reach.

If only we believe."


Author Unknown

I am, Only Human

Only Human

Time is mostly itself when passing.
So bees wend high above the road
Where a fine dust cloud rises
And white birds appear in the gathered green.

No painter here to take their wing to canvas,
No inscrutable simplicity in a crack heads cluttered mime,
No poet giving voice to mute mud,
No philosophic sap, swollen knot of superadded wisdom,
Nor a Christ lodged in the slowing green snail . . .

Such are limp hands white with sleep,
Hair as water burns on golden sand,
Or wooden dark in its stillness.

It be the blaze of afternoon brings the heat of world,
Listing here on slight breezes, where
Over your radiant slumbers sugar cypress arms
Canopy my nodding vigil.

Invisible breath: guardian of our present
Steals through infant lips,
of a new old world,
Secretly to stir the leaves around.

Time is mostly itself, when passing.

I still believe

just thinking about your dream(s), and how our dreams are often more than just vivid reminders of who and why we are.

Contained in those thoughts then was this image of you sleeping.

Breathing softly as you do, with that smile of yours looking up at me,
I was reminded of late August sunsets and candle light.

Which is why I stiil believe for every drop of rain that falls upon the road, a flower grows. Still, believing that somewhere in the darkest night, a candle will be glowing.

I still believe;

That for everyone who has gone astray, someone will come along to show them the way. Still believing above a storm the smallest prayer can still be heard.

Even a prayer spoken in your sleep.

The Book of Love is........

The book of love is long and boring.
No one can lift the damn thing,

It's full of charts and facts and figures
and instructions for dancing,
But I love it when you read it to me,
For you can read me anything.

The book of love has music in it,
In fact that's where music comes from.

Some of it is just transcendental,
Some of it is just really dumb,
But I love it when you sing to me
And you You can sing me anything

The book of love is long and boring
And written very long ago.
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
And things we're all too young to know

But I love it anyway.

Always look up

On the way down,

I saw you and you saved me from myself
and I wont forget the way you loved me.
On the way down,
I almost fell through but I held on to you.

On the way down is when I loved you the most!

A smile from me today...and always ~

"Did you know...that when you walk past a flower,
whether it be in somebody's garden or on a vacant hillside,
the flower will always smile at you.

The most polite way to respond,
I've been told,
is to cheerfully return the smile."

When "she" spoke she said:

From where I am sitting you seem to have it(?) together.
Within you then, I see that you are intelligent and sensitive, strong and secure.
A bright star I imagine.
All good reasons for me to approach you.

To me, you appear open, free to explore and learn.
As for me, the more you want to know the deeper inside I will let you explore.

If it's passion you seek, you are looking in the right direction.
I know the value of a strong bond.
I understand the components of friendship and trust.
I know that true intensity, can be found, even in the quietest of moments!

In the between, I like to kiss, drink wine, watch the moon, run into waves, swing,
slide, teeter-totter, drive, ride, hide under blankets, eat, sleep, make love.... and sing of key.

Just your more basic of human desires and so much more too!

Her

Johanna

Do you miss me still?

Or has the screaming into the night,
Passed with the pain
Of my leaving?

On the subway yesterday,
A woman said
That the twilight
Of our love

Interrupts your sleep
Nevertheless.

I miss you too!

A thought for your pain

Afterwards:

The world is turning,
The fires burning,
And there was God!

Not standing by,
Though by your side,
The Creator waits for you.

Falling back in time

I am not the mountain, though the mountain is me:

You will never therefore know me;
Until you reached my peak
Stood upon my ridgeline
Traveled the unmarked path of my crags
Waded the depths of my rivers
Crossed my phantom bridges
Seen what I have witnessed
Endured the storms that batter me still
Love how I have loved
Give as I have taken
Endured the depths of my passions

I am the mountain, though the mountain is not me:

You will not know who I am;
By my written words
But by my unspoken whispers
The language of my rocky embrace
Without the tenderness of my indomitable summit

For just like all mountains before me;
I have dreams, and my dreams contain wishes
My wishes have ambition, and my ambitions have desires
Within my desires, there are often emotions
Contained in my emotions are fury, yet I am not furious.

I am therefore the hidden lava below the snow cap,
Do you know where to find me?
Do you dare to meet me?
Do you care to complete me?

Yes, I have made mistakes in my life,
As have some others mountains
But I am not in competition with them.

I am not the mountain of your fears,
All of what I have done, where I have been
And the choices I have made
Make me who I am today,
The Mountain, who became a Man!

Do you still care to hear me?
Do you know where to be near me?
Are you ready to find out?

Losing anothers Love

One of the fundamental aspects of loving is the willingness to unite deeply with another person. It is natural that we should desire to be a deep and integral part of those we love. We believe that we can only bring them happiness if we can know them mind, body and soul.

There is an inherent danger in this when we become so thoroughly involved with another that we lose ourselves. In so doing, we become less to everyone who loves us. For us to totally merge our identity with another is to deny our past and all that makes us who we are. A loving relationship works better as a voluntary coming together of two separate individuals. Through their dedication and respect for each other, they create a new entity, which is neither one of them, but part of both- their relationship.

New relationships are always fragile; for those that survive seem either to age gracefully or end up simply aging. The difference it seems is in the two people, who have maintained their personal integrity and who have also been willing to merge their efforts and uniqueness into shaping their love, towards another independent being.

We will find it necessary to relinquish something of ourselves with each new relationship, but it is wise to be forever cautious not to totally lose ourselves in the process. For those who love us, learned to love us as individuals, not as part their greater whole, but separate unto ourselves, and whole from within.

A new Season of Love

If love were a season,
It would begin in the Spring; warm and tender.

As the gentle rains fell, love like a flower
Would grow, reaching ever higher
For the warming Sun.

Just as if love were any season,
Before we knew it
The bright hot sun of the summer
Would scorch our love.

Forcing us to seek the shelter
Of each others protective embrace.

If love were any other season,
The chill of our words
Would become the ice
on the ponds that dot our hearts.

Waiting,
Waiting still,
For the season to change
Us back into the succulent splendor
That was our spring time beginning!

Asia: Part 3

You see, Asia never left me that day, nor for the great many seemingly wonderful days that followed; each in its own way filled with endlessly amazing, exasperating and enriching moments!

Even now I can recall the look in her eyes when we went about the peninsula and surrounding islands together. The honestly beautiful way she took in every sight and sound was and still is the barometer that I now use to gauge the interest of every woman who has come into my life since asking her to leave. Admittedly, even I learned something about this place I had called home since as long as I have memories, such was the wonder of this woman and her unique way of seeing everything as it truly is and not as it may appear to others. Spending all that time with Asia was indeed a wonderful, yet completely aggravating experience.

For with each new way that her smile warmed my heart, there was still no way to get around her combustible temper, nor the one true barrier that kept us physically separated during that summer and for the many years that passed after. No, it’s not that the longing wasn’t there between us, for often when she would steal into my room at night, feigning some imaged noise or fear, after she would drift back asleep beside me, I would be painfully awake wondering about my long ago made pledge.

It would seem that Asia had never been with a man before. Never had she known the fevered embrace of unbridled passion and its constant companion, lustful intentions. Sure, I bet there were those awkward stolen kisses by the school yard fence, maybe even a long slow dance against a grinding hip on the dance floor of her High School prom, but for the most part, the ham fisted fear her dad had placed into the neighborhood boys was sufficient to keep her untouched by any mans undoing. Until me(?). Wanting her, sometimes even seeing the need within her, always propelled me to complete the triangle of our love, yet no matter how hard she tried, I always stood by the hardest promise I ever kept. There she would be, curled up on the coach when I got home from the day, asking with those green eyes if tonight would be the night?

Trying on every bit of clothing left in my home by previous lovers, or some nights, wearing no clothing at all, and yet never did I fall into that temptation. For even if you peeled away all the swashbuckling exploits of my life, unearthed and reassembled the burned up letters, poems and napkin sized love notes of my youth, one thing would still stand glaringly abstract in all of my conquests, never had I, nor would I, touch caress, or even gently fondle the daughter of a man without his permission. Odd you may say, for what father does give his permission? None to my knowledge, but just as each crime has its own code of punishment, so then does each criminal have his or her own area of vulnerbility. For me then, no matter the promised booty, nor how loud or ever more succulently the sirens call, anything still unspoiled by the hand of another man, passes by me as if it were the daughter of a man I liked.

As to Asia and those Sunday gatherings, well that particular summer eventually ended and she had to return home for a time. Seems her visa was indeed tied to the employment contract she never actually fulfilled. Consequently, between us passed many more long hot and lonely summers until she was able to return to the man who taught her how to be a woman without ever forgetting the he was indeed, a man. These days, Asia runs a shop up the beach from where I found her, not really making a living, but living beyond just enough to get by. As to us and this dance we still do, well some things never actually change. For within me, there has been many a moment and embrace with another, yet between us, the depth of our intimacy will continue to grow, but the longing, well, it still lingers.

Asia: Part 2

Yet as with any new revelation, often then appears the reflected realityof the moment, now that we had met, and such a meeting it was, how are we to proceed? For already, I sensed the touch of overwhelming emotional beginnings unfold.

Walking back with her up to the parking lot, it was hard to understand what she was saying.
Not that she didn’t speak the same language as I did, but the way she punctuated each syllable, and the husk of her deep throated dialect was like nothing I had ever heard before. Words from her were like shouts in a gale, and I strained to hear each one completely.

I laughed when she said her name, this caused her to turn around and face me, and for the first time, I completely saw her. Such a one as this I thought, who could have known the power within a woman could be so strong and able? Laugh she said. Am I someone in whom you find humor? Now these words I perceived more than heard, and with my reeling backward, off she ambled on ahead. Hmn, guess I had better wait until she’s dry before I try any more humor I thought? Reaching the paved area, Asia stops again and waits for me to step up to where she now stands, before she begins to actually speak to me in a voice that would be my undoing.

Edward she says, which vehicle be yours? Blinking I guess, I am caught off guard by the clarity and tone of her words. What happened to the accented and crashing syllables, the indecipherable outbursts of some foreign dialect? She was a wonder that Asia, and I of course was absolutely blinded by beauty of it all. Showing her the way to the truck, I began to steal glances over at her. Always it seemed that when I looked her way, there was her gaze, looking back intently at me, searching my face for some answer, as if to say that all the answers were already written there for her alone to see.

Who was this woman I wondered, and why is it that I’ve discovered her in the here and now of this new season of my life?All my real questions would go unanswered to this day, for after I let her into the truck and turned the heat on, taking care to more tightly wrap the blanket completely around her, I wondered aloud if there was anything else I could do for her, and that was when all the answers to my seemingly unspoken questions came out in a tumble. Yesterday it seemed Asia had come out onto the Cape Cod peninsula from the airport up in Boston. A twelve hour flight from Glasgow, Scotland had found her in a strange place, without any desire to stay and no real way to return until her posting here was completed.

Seeking then only to settle into her summer job as a nanny for one of the families over in the Mc Mansion marina across the bay, she happened to mention her feelings to another staff member who thought a few drinks and a stroll along the break water would be just the thing to take her mind off her summer away from home, and the loneliness that can bring.Perhaps it was the lack of food or just the loss of time references, but to the best of her ability to recall the events of that first night, she was sitting in the dunes and looking across the water at her island home so far away, drinking chilled wine and talking with her new friend about all the things they missed about their homes, and the next thing she could readily remember was waking to the sound of the mornings gulls dropping their clam breakfast out onto the parking lot were we now sat.

Asking her then why she was in the river channel was truly not the question, for that she had no real answers anyway. Somehow she thought she had crossed the marsh on her way into the dunes and that was the way she could see to get back across. As for the missing friend, she wasn’t sure why she had left her out there alone like that, but if her earlier attitude with me was any indication; my thoughts began drifting to the lifted spirits of a foul mouth and a right surly attitude, though I digress from the topic at hand.

Asia. A story told in 3 parts

Another Sunday afternoon beckons and I could tell by the number of cars strewn across the yard, this was going to be a good party indeed.Admittedly, when it came to these Sunday gatherings, the fewer those in attendance the better, though on this Sunday I was actually looking forward to the distraction a greater number would bring to my dilemma.

Walking as I would into the foyer, I sensed more than saw her entering the den from off the horizon deck. Seems that everyone knows why she’s here now. Here even more than should have been necessary they say, and still she comes. I give a nod at her wave and begin to say my hellos when I realize that her intent is to come up behind me this morning for our now ritual kiss. Smiling at the host, I recognize perhaps I should begin my telling from the actual beginning.

Seems to me like a whole month of Sundays has gone past since that one Sunday dawned into my life. As it was always, I began my morning walk along the rivers edge just this side of the bay. Usually it would be just the egrets and I, maybe a tern or two, here in Hyannis harbor, but almost always at this time of the day no other human traffic. Funny then how I found her, expecting to see just the waves as the river swelled from the inrushing tide, and instead there she was, up to her knees in the silt having just been caught out of the marshes edge by the swift currents surrounding her.

To be honest, it was hard to tell if she really needed my help at all, what with the way her eyes burned with the determination to keep her balance and momentum. I almost stepped back behind the reeds just to see if she could make it alone, but needless to say, I did wade out to where she was potentially planted just in case.Asia was her name, island born Irish by birth, completely continental by choice. All eyes, with massive curls and abundant freckles, of those spots I would wonder often if they were a sign of the animal within or just a series of nano sized stop signs for those us without!

Of course she thanked me, but it wasn’t like I had a lot to do with it. I offered to give her my blanket from the beach truck, never thinking to ask her how she came to be out in the flats as if clamming without any gear. No matter I guessed, a good deed done and I was actually happy for the company.I was all about her presence that day, for her being with me revealed how actually alone I had become out here on the mouth of this river, how these lonely walks to clear my thoughts of one had completely landed me right in the middle of another.

Visions of You

Last night in my dreams,
The wind came to see me.

Thinking as I do about you,
Wondering maybe more than I should,
He showed me some of the reasons whyYou are, as you appear to me!

As I rose up in his arms,
He took me into your valley
and allowed me to tickle you with a gentle breeze,
as you smiled sweetly.
After, I drifted passsed you and back into the sky,
I could see your days unfolded before you, and I just had to sigh!

You, unlike the wind,
are often tufted and turned by the whims and needs of others.
Pulled and prodded this way and that
for the sake of someone else’s pleasure..........sorry baby.

This day, Tomorrow
Everyday, that you know of me,
Please think of my as a Sunny little Island then.

A place of your calm and resting breezes,
Not another person who needs your attention,
But a one who's attention you already have.

Which is my future within you?

People have laughed at me several times;
they say I'm being ridiculous, that this is just too strange...

but would it be much better for you my dear
if I never told you that I care for you?

Truly, the moment my feet landed on the Lord's ground,
it opened my mind to see within these complicated lives
that swirled aound me I knew right then
of the catastrophes within my own life...
together with its mysteries, happiness and joy!

My life, though full as it was with another’s
miseries, agonies, tortured longing and sorrow,
had love but then, when You came into my life
I knew then that nature had indeed smiled upon me
and these black clouds of another gave way to joyful skies.

Knowing then, that you would be a part of me
for your longing never left my puzzled mind.
Your heartbeats, never stopped beating upon within my chest,
even though I no longer held you close.

In the distance that you’ve allowed to form between us…..
I’ve come to know you, and your heart well.
I still recall that day we looked at each other's eyes
often, remembrances which became sweeter as they last
without becoming bitter, and bitter as we parted

never to be back in each other arms again is the question
Yet, even if this will never happen,
neither will it be erased from my memory...
For you, that smile of yours, and your love within....
these things I’ll never be tired of remembering....

You.................

You,
beloved,
who were lost before the beginning, who never came,
I do not know which sounds might be precious to you.

No longer do I try to recognize you, when, as a surging wave, something is about to manifest.
All the huge images in me, the deeply-sensed far-away landscapes, cities and towers and bridges and un-suspected turns of the path, the powerful life of landsonce filled with the presence of gods: all rise with you to find clear meaning in me, your, forever, elusive one.

You, who are all the gardens I've ever looked upon, full of promise. An open windowin a country house—, and you almost stepped towards me, thoughtfully. Sidestreets I happened upon,—you had just passed through them, and sometimes, in the small shops of sellers, the mirrors were still dizzy with you and gave back, frightened, my too sudden form.—Who is to say if the same bird did not resound through us both yesterday, separate, in the evening?


Rilke(Paris, winter 1913 - 14)

A very Blessed.....................

.................and beautiful Good Morning to you SunShine!

No matter the yesterday(s), today is the day He promised to give to you, and within it you should indeed find immense peace and beauty......pleasure and serenity, not only around you, but coming from within you as well!

As you reach out and accept this blessing, can we look inward for just a moment my dear?
For all too often my beautiful one, someone is re-telling you that same lie from your youth, somehow, someway, you are guilty of doing, or feeling something that is not your right to do so.

Again I say into you though, this is just the mirage of another's love and not Love in the way it was intended, and as such, you need not believe it. Yes, often people will blame someone enough, and they will begin to believe the lie as their own personal truth.........is this you my love? For in being a woman, you have the inherent right to become emotional and to reach out to another via this emotionality.

Whereas for another to say that you do not have this right, is just another example of someone telling you who you need to be, and not someone accepting you as you are....Beautiful! Today, instead of feeling someone else's pain(s), look into the eyes of your own refelection and the many bright and alive ones that will be surrounding you this very day and see life. Life and love in its uncorrupted state and smile, for this is the kind of love that you need.

A Love that does not punish, nor place blame, or even attempt to affix guilt upon another for their honest attempt to be themselves.You are beauty and peace my friend, cover yourself with this truth and reject anything that does not accept and exalt the inherent beauty of who and what you are:Child, Woman, Mother, Friend, Lover, Artisan and Love!!!A one who believes their own truth, not someone else's lies.

Visions of our tomorrow:

Uptown, people still wander about,
a white face stops to peer down the alley way of our lives and turns away.
Is it the wildness of our embrace, or is it the wonder of how we readily face all that we are,
or have we already become his nightmare of tomorrow?

Later, I sleep and crazily dream.
A dark end of summer kind of dream,
of the moon, and the liquid passion in your eyes.

Softly, I kiss your lips and tremble,
is that your blood or mine I taste?

Not that it matters,
for all that you'll become,
I already am.

Coming home under the full Moon

As where I was, faded behind me
The moon appeared
Fully exposed on my horizon.

Looking up into the face
Of all that was to become,

I remembered all the things
Still to be undone.

Is the moon above you now?
Smiling its earth shattering
Love into you face?

Or are you still trying to
Unfurl his crippling embrace?

The moon
Not unlike my other
Lover the wind,
Always reminds me of you.

Even those places
Within you,
That are still untrue.

Yet,

As I passed onto my own valley floor,
The moon dropped behind
The rock wall of my soon to be,
goodnight.

The Beauty of Life..........................

....................is often obscured through the prism of time.

When we have very little time, life can seem hazy and unfocused.

Whereas when we have abundant amounts of time, oh how long the horizon has become!

Time, like love requires patience and consideration.

Therefore, time has always been my friend.

We niether argue, mislead or dissapoint one another.

Nor does it hold itself out to be something that it's not.
I like that about time.

It is what it is, and thats all.

Wouldn't it be great if we were all like that too?

Visiting the attic, I discovered this:

Shorts(stories)
can enrich your
understanding
and heighten
your global
experiences



Often I use short vocal expressions to broaden the awareness of the person whom I am attempting to engage and subsequently subdue, though I often use it as a devise to paint images within their body and mind, my goal is just to enlighten and release.

Sometimes, it's so much a part of my sense of expression and placement, I can forget about the hearer and leave them entranced(encased) within the montage I am using for the purpose of illustration.................................

Maybe, some day, I can paint you into a perpetual day break, a collage of new and increasing wonderful beginnings?



In the between of it all; thanks for the look and remember, reach out beyond your borders often, some of us are actually quite nice too!