Explanations

Life is not external!

For:
Love,
like laughter
comes from within.

For:
Love,
like a smile,
is born from something we think,
more so than what we feel.

And yet;
Love,
like a river though,
can also cause harm and become dangerous,
when not upon its path,
or contained within its course.

I started to think about this
when I received yet another image
of a cross legged woman.

Not that it matters,
but:
there really is more to what a man seeks
from within you
than what can be readily seen
from the photo of a cross legged female!

Even if
that's all you think,
you have to offer him.

Dreaming

Last night as I lost my way into the night, I dreamed of a future that included you in way that I was unfamiliar with.

Seems that in my recollection, I was folding laundry when the phone rang. Hello I said into the handset, only to be startled by your “hello my love”. Odd actually, I seemed to sense more than know that it was you.

Hi, I said in return, is your day going well? “What with the phones ringing and people popping their heads in, I may never get home on time”, you state rather quickly.

Hmn…………… anything you’d like for dinner I ask?

“Seared scallops, roasted vegetables, and an over chilled chardonnay would be nice!” “I’ll call you from the freeway and let you know when I’m within an hour to home.” “By the way, can you draw me a bath too?”

Surely, I answer. For what else could your man say?

Yet laying there after (for I seem to be able to 3rd person my dreams quite well), I was left wondering about the strength within you.
This part of you that needs me all to deeply, and yet, is prepared to control as much of yourself as I’m willing to allow.


Still, I found it unusual to think of you in this way.

Hmn...

In all honesty:

The beauty of meeting another
is not so much the new reality,
Nor the clarity of purpose,
though to finally know who
and what you like in another
can be and is devastating each time it happens.

Yet the true and pure essence
of meeting your muse is that right then,
there are no excuses.

Now there is only the soft note
of a love that will neither leave you,
Nor forsake you,
Even when you know,
That to give in to it,
Is to die to all that you've believed about yourself,
And the world around you.

Therefore:

Is it cruel to say,
May your tears flow like the majestic river
That has poured off the mountains
That surround you now,
Pure,Clear,
Swift,
Icy cold,
And very much,
Alive!

Well then,
For right now,
May your tears be
All that you know and love,
Forever.

In the between, may what you share here, radiate into your personal orbits as well!

Night

Last night as I lay in bed,
I could feel your arms around me.

Holding me, comforting me,
loving me.

In my dreams,
I could feel your body,
laying next to mine.

Cradling me,
comforting me,
loving me.

Waking to the morning sun,
I realize it was only a dream,
having your arms
and your body next to mine.

Holding me,
comforting me,
loving me.

I wait for the next time
you enter my dreams.

In anticipation of your arms
wrapped around me,
holding me,
comforting me,
loving me.

For I know someday,
my dreams may become
a reality.

Anon:

Someday,
we will float
Wave, upon wave

In calm azure waters
Your soul and mine

Between heavenly skies
And crystal ocean

We shall ebb and flow
Entwined in warmth

As the universe evolves
Stars form and die

Our love will ride
As whispers in the wind

Always and forever
We will remain

What was her name again(?):

When the earth is embraced by the velvet night
and the stars shed their silver lining,
I close my eyes, and can see you sleeping.

You lie amid soft linen,
sleeping, gently.
Your eyes are closed,
lost to the world of sweet dreams.

Each gentle rise and
fall of your chest is rhythmic,
strong as your dark form moves
beneath the glow of starlight.

And I watch on,
breathless,
while the moon's silver hand
glides through the parted curtain,
caressing your bare chest.

I wonder why,
soothed by the peacefulness
of the dreamy world of sleep,
my heart knows no rest(?).

Thursday

Often,
and even when I least expect it,
the rains will come and I'll find my paper walls depleted.

This time though,
as the rains fell,
I smiled.

Actually, I thought of you and then I smiled.

Thanks!

Still

In the distance that seperates us, one from the other,
I think the most important lesson to understand is honesty.

For without my ability to belive in you,
why should it matter to me if you're you, or another?

Niether of you matter without the truth anyway!

So in the between then,
read and try to understand,
for without words, who can still be listening?

Surely, not the Moon, nor I.

Words!

Words, in and of themselves are often very beautiful to here and speak.

True enough, the insincere use of certain words has led to their becoming less significant than the original purpose behind them, but that is not what I came here to talk about today.Today, I just want to clarify a few words (as is my overall desire anyway).

Should you see yourself in these words, feel free to correct me, and/or yourself.

Our first word is: NICE

Nice adj 1: pleasant or pleasing or agreeable in nature or appearance; "what a nice fellow you are and we all thought you so nasty"- George Meredith; "nice manners"; "a nice dress"; "a nice face"; "a nice day"; "had a nice time at the party"; "the corn and tomatoes are nice today" [ant: nasty] 2: socially or conventionally correct; refined or virtuous; "from a decent family"; "a nice girl" [syn: decent] 3: done with delicacy and skill; "a nice bit of craft"; "a job requiring nice measurements with a micrometer"; "a nice shot" [syn: skillful] 4: excessively fastidious and easily disgusted; "too nice about his food to take to camp cooking"; "so squeamish he would only touch the toilet handle with his elbow" [syn: dainty, overnice, prissy, squeamish] 5: noting distinctions with nicety; "a discriminating interior designer"; "a nice sense of color"; "a nice point in the argument" [syn: discriminate] 6: exhibiting courtesy and politeness; "a nice gesture" [syn: courteous, gracious]

Our second word is: STRONG

Strong adj 1: having strength or power greater than average or expected; "a strong radio signal"; "strong medicine"; "a strong man" [ant: weak] 2: used of syllables or musical beats [syn: accented, heavy] 3: not faint or feeble; "a strong odor of burning rubber" 4: having or wielding force or authority; "providing the ground soldier with increasingly potent weapons" [syn: potent] 5: having a strong physiological or chemical effect; "a potent toxin"; "potent liquor"; "a potent cup of tea" [syn: potent] [ant: impotent] 6: able to withstand attack; "an impregnable fortress"; "fortifications that made the frontier inviolable" [syn: impregnable, inviolable, secure, unassailable, unattackable] 7: of good quality and condition; solidly built; "a solid foundation";

Our third word is: COOPERATIVE

Cooperative adj 1: involving the joint activity of two or more; "the attack was met by the combined strength of two divisions"; "concerted action"; "the conjunct influence of fire and strong dring"; "the conjunctive focus of political opposition"; "a cooperative effort"; "a united effort"; "joint military activities" [syn: combined, concerted, conjunct, conjunctive, united] 2: done with or working with others for a common purpose or benefit; "a cooperative effort" [ant: uncooperative] 3: willing to adjust to differences in order to obtain agreement [syn: accommodative]

Our fourth word is: LOVE

Love n 1: a strong positive emotion of regard and affection; "his love for his work"; "children need a lot of love" [ant: hate] 2: any object of warm affection or devotion; "the theater was her first love" or "he has a passion for cock fighting"; [syn: passion] 3: a beloved person; used as terms of endearment [syn: beloved, dear, dearest, loved one, honey] 4: a deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction; "their love left them indifferent to their surroundings"; "she was his first love" 5: a score of zero in tennis or squash; "it was 40 love"

Nice, Strong Cooperative, Love.

Words all!

Words, as you should know by now dear friend(s), are more to me than all of the pursuits any man could choose to follow other the greatest pursuit of all; the loving of our gracious and merciful God. Therefore, when you hear words from, and/or speak words into mylife, please be kind enough to make them words that we may both actually understand the meaning.

For otherwise, something truly wonderful can be destroyed, or even less beautiful, something not quite wonderful could be all that we have left...........................................

I saw you again today..............

.................. at first, it was just the whisper of your song that I heared,
and then, it was presence of your smile that I felt upon my own,
funny even now, how much I liked it still.

So it all seems so strange now,
for here I am without you;
Yet, when I close my eyes,
still, I see you so clearly again.

Often:

Contained within the struggle is more than just the simple beauty of a closed and longing heart, and yet, without the frost, how does the flower know when to bloom again?

Therefore:

Love like rain,
is a constant and still,
not always easily received.

Sunshine, like the rain, is a given.

Therefore, in between the abstract of longing and real love,
there has to be a willingness to be honest,
and a desire to be seen like the flower,
seen, as we really are!

In missing you then,
it goes without saying that my desire to always be close,
is more than just a passing shower.

For like the rain, I'm only just a moment away!

Something to ponder.................

.............. If You want to grow in your life,
you must cultivate curiosity,
For it becomes an unending study of joy.

If you want to cure boredom, be curious.
If you are curious, nothing is a chore.

Children know how to wonder,
that's why they're so endearing.

But be careful it doesn't lead you in the wrong path.

The trick is knowing when you've gone too far!

Honesty.............

................... is more beautiful than You are to me!

Sometimes,
the mystery,
the nuances of a photo,
and of a person's aura
are compelling enough to invoke an insight into that person's soul
and the essense of who they are or who they could potentially be

Maybe,
I find this more intriguing than actually meeting a person.

For a picture doesn't lie
...words do in a corrupt society,
...driven by lust, jealousy and greed.

Therefore, I love simplistic innocense
...such realness is pure.

The Pond

The Most Beautiful Lily in the Pond
she longs to view each day.

It's petals virginal white,
send shivers to her spine,
calling her,
taunting her,
with promise of its hidden passion.

Her soul,
it caresses with whispers of the bluest fire,
and to it one day she knows the wind shall carry all of her untaimed desires.

Beloved Valentine

Life, like lovers and friends,
is a varied and vibrant series of beautiful possiblities and promises!

Surely then, each to his and her own,
and yet all made possible becasue of the excellant majesty of His thrown.

Therefore, won't you take a moment and thank the one true Love of your life
during your Valentines day celebration.

Not to say that the joy and pleasure of this mortal world is not enough(?),
but won't the exquisite music and lovingly embraced tears be so much more real, in Heaven!

Swashbuckler, the Story

Swashbuckler, the story:

Recently, while I was traveling on the California coast with some of my coaching colleagues and friends, I came across a tragically fake copy of a man that I used to be.

Actually, it was one the woman that I was traveling with, who noticed this individual in our midst, and reminded me that today, so many men want to be more than they can readily translate easily words (her exact quote: look, he’s playing past himself!), and therefore they use bluster and imagined bravado to display their intent and imaginary talents.

As a man, I am still unashamed to say that for more than a moment in my past, often I was openly referred to as that “eastern swashbuckler”, as in, you must have met him. At first, I thought of this as a semi-flattering term, and even was called upon to exemplify the ways in which the talents displayed themselves in business and social settings, for others in my circle thought it unusual that I developed this persona by accident.

So, needless to say, to look upon this man, and then hear a stranger to our group refer to him as a swashbuckling idiot, I was both angered and confused.What had happened to the notion that a man who possessed the ability to be both daredevil and explorer, fortune-hunter and globetrotter, hero and madcap, opportunist, and pioneer, rogue and romantic, soldier and speculator, traveler and venturer, was anything other than good friend?

How did become that such a man was now looked upon as a big talking blusterer. Or worse, someone working with purely his braggadocio, or just a plain bullshitting, egotist, whose’ know-it-all, peacock, show-offish ness and false swagger, identify him as a on who has no true talents?Did I look that way to others I wondered?

And yes, there were those parents, brothers and ex-boyfriends who often thought that I could not be as I appeared, for no man can care and kill using the same tools, yet, I did then, and unfortunately, still do now. Anyhoo, I am still coming back to myself after the brief coaching conference in San Francisco, but still, I am totally baffled by the fact that whenever I go out into cities these days, I am dismayed by the overwhelming lack of love and honesty.

Surely, it must be the fact that I am older now, but gee, what ever happened to the pursuit of craft and the dignity that came from being your own person (man)?

Are we truly as lost as that man?
Or am I just on the wrong Coast again?

I write Becasue

I write because the alternative is to (re)act without a complete thought.

Actually, I write because in writing I find myself, my passion, an outlet for my anger, and a way to live beyond just a pay check. In writing, I often find the core of a person that usually is not readily apparent or discerned any other way.

Interesting then, that we would come to this point again, after all that we just pushed our way through, but I guess that is the way of it all. Intension's, as in my determination to say to you that you were not alone, are all about desiring to reach out and into another being in whom I found(find) compassion, tenderness, and a deeply abiding need to receive love and acceptance.

As you had stated in that initial moment, in your life, there was a one who respected and revered you, and your desire was to be all that you were capable of being with that man. Me, I have been most supportive of that, and have never wavered from my desire to just see you happily released from those past experiences we so easily talked about.

Therefore, my intension's are to always be to you a great and wonderful friend, someone who you learn to trust and respect and discover a desire to be yourself with. Sure, on the other side of your relationship(s), I would welcome a chance to put into practice, all the things that we will have learned about each other, but that is not the goal, nor the prize of our being together now, nor in the future.

A one in who you find peace and honor, Love and acceptance is my aim, no matter what you and I become. For like you, many is the chance, and plenty is the opportunity, but not often do either of us meet a one like what we have discovered in the other here.

So my intension is to see that grow and develop.

If in the between of all that, I meet and marry another, I hope you would honor all that we have shared by coming to the event and offering a toast, I would!

Limitations then are something that if you feel you need, who am I to say your wrong.
Yes, there have been many a bad and uncomfortable moments for you in your life as it revolved around men, but I am a Man after all. Not someone acting like a man, or playing at being a man, but an actual living, breathing, soul searching and redeeming Man!

Someone who you can actually trust and depend upon. True enough, we do have a great non verbal relationship developing and if that's all you have to offer, well who am I to offer an argument? Commitment to your well being and solace for your soul is the perspective that I am working from, and yes, I really do wish you had that in mind for me too, but, we both know that no one can be themselves when trapped in a box, so if your unwilling to take the goodness that you feel when we connect and allow that to thrive and prosper out in the open, well maybe that is something to consider to.

The phone is revealing, true enough.

Actually, while breathing just now, I think you did to!

Maybe there is a danger to this, but for me, I do not see it, nor am I capable of understanding it. Together, we had a great time and shared a beautiful moment. Me, I truly desire to have more of that. Should it be not something that you believe will be as rewarding and as enriching as this, well then I must be wrong about you too................................

Truly, in writing, I can and do reach others.

And I like that too!

What do trees have to do with peace?

Thirty years ago, in the country of Kenya, 90% of the forest had been chopped down. Without trees to hold the topsoil in place, the land became like a desert. When the women and girls would go in searchof firewood in order to prepare the meals, they would have to spend hours and hours looking for what few branches remained.

A woman named Wangari watched all of this happening.

She decided that there must be a way to take better care of the land and take better care of the women and girls. So she planted a tree. And then she planted another. She wanted to plant thousands of trees, but she realized that it would take a very long time if she was the only one doing it. So she taught the women who were looking for firewood to plant trees, and they were paid a small amount for each sapling they grew. Soon she organized women all over the country to plant trees, and a movement took hold. It was called the Green Belt Movement, and with each passing year, more and more trees covered the land. But something else was happening as the women planted those trees. Something else besides those trees was taking root.

The women began to have confidence in themselves. They began to see that they could make a difference. They began to see that they were capable of many things, and that they were equal to the men.They began to recognize that they were deserving of being treated with respect and dignity. Changes like these were threatening to some. The president of the country didn't like any of this. So police were sent to intimidate and beat Wangari for planting trees, and for planting ideas of equality and democracy in people's heads, especially in women's.

She was accused of "subversion" and arrested many times. Once, while Wangari was trying to plant trees, she was clubbed by guards hired by developers who wantedthe lands cleared. She was hospitalized with head injuries. But she survived, and it only made her realize that she was on the right path. For almost thirty years, she was threatened physically, and she was often made fun of in the press. But she didn't flinch. She only had to look in the eyes of her three children, and in the eyes of the thousands of women and girls who were blossoming right along with the trees, and she found the strength to continue. And that is how it came to be that 30 million trees have been planted in Africa, one tree at a time.

The landscapes--both the external one of the land and the internal one of the people--have been transformed. In 2002, the people of Kenya held a democratic election, and the president who opposed Wangari and her Green Belt Movement is no longer in office. And Wangari is now Kenya's Assistant Minister for the Environment.S he is 65 years old, and this year she planted one more tree in celebration and thanksgiving for being given a very great honor:
Wangari Maathai has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

She is the first African woman to receive this award. After she was notified, she gave a speech entitled,"What Do Trees Have To Do With Peace? "She pointed out how most wars are fought over limited natural resources, such as oil, land, coal or diamonds. She called for an end to corporate greed, and for leaders to build more just societies. She added:"Our recent experience in Kenya gives hope to all who have been struggling for a better future. It shows it is possible to bring about positive change, and still do it peacefully. All it takes is courage and perseverance, and a belief that positive change is possible.

That is why the slogan for our campaign was 'It is Possible!'" "On behalf of all African women, I want to express my profound appreciation for this honour, which will serve to encourage women in Kenya, in Africa, and around the world to raise their voices and not to be deterred." "When we plant trees, we plant the seeds of peace and seeds of hope. We also secure the future for our children. I call on those around the world to celebrate by planting a tree wherever you are.
"As she received the Nobel Peace Prize this week in Oslo, she invited us all to get involved: "Today we are faced with a challenge that calls for a shift in our thinking, so that humanity stops threatening its life-support system. We are called to assist the Earth to heal her wounds and in the process heal our own."

Can we accept Wangari's invitation?

When in the mirror of your life

Within this mirror you see,
that the twinkle in your eyes
speaks of the passion that causes your heart to beat so rapidly

Often I wonder, do your lips effect you as they do me?
It is but through my pure imagination that I feel those lips press against mine,
and my heart does pound in the same beat by beat
as I am holding you close in my mind.

Beautiful...Is but the sunrise and of each day that I have purposed because of you.
As perfect is what the sunset will bare witness to at the end of a day soon to come
when I am spending it with you my love,
within the mirror of our lives............ together.

Wanting to discover other people in my work and play life,

I found that by providing the answer,
it often revealed the questions.

Who am I(?) is a question that can best be answered when viewed through the prism,
of who I am not.

Honestly:

I don't want You to be less than I am for the comfort level of those around we may be around.
For I am not a man who will not let you explore your thoughts with me, even when you're unfocused, for that is how I get focused too.

I am not a man who does not kiss and touch gently to stimulate you as we begin to make love, but sometimes it's just sex.

I am not a man who does not allow your natural rhythms for sleep, food, relaxation, work and exercise to be what they are, or need to be.

I am not a man who is not fascinated by what's in your mind, as you need to with my own.

I am a man who doesn't care how I dress or look, Yet I am focused on how you do, and I will respond to you standing before me in a short skirt and heels, a house coat, or nothing at all.

I am a man who will not, nor can not withhold himself from my family, my love, my sex, my thoughts, my activities, my ambitions, my fantasies, my writings.

I am a man who will allow you to love him and express it in the way that is yours to express, who does demands it look a certain way pre-determined by me, yet real Love has many faces, so I am flexible.

I am a man who abuses my strength and capability for my own laziness, deceit or denial, for I am often too much and so I have to temper myself around others, sometimes, maybe even you.

I am a man who can care for himself and you, and if need be, financially. But first, I reclaim all that is mine, at least for my own issues of self.

I am a man who would ask you to do something for him that he knew would hurt, or endanger you, or some part of my life, but only as a tool to your outer growth and inner amazement.

I am not a man who uses pornography. Or has a secret sex life.

I am not a man who will tolerate anyone hurting those I love because I am out of touch with me, nor for that matter, those who you love aside from me.

I am a man who does not know how to be any less than you are in all of your activities and thoughts, no matter how small or large.

I am a man who does not understand your physicality...both the strength and the chronic pain. Though I am not a man who does not appreciate what you have done in your life with the handicaps of pain and limitation is profound and I will support you with massage, a watchful eye, a healthy lifestyle and a heavy hand.

I am a man who is at peace around his parents.

I am a man who does see what your children mean to you and I will create opportunities to your parenting and their growth therein.

I am a man who accepts your friends on a basic level, and will desire to not characterize them negatively in a way designed to plump himself up, but I will not accept less than the best for you, from them.

I am not a man who has any prejudice toward any peoples, individuals, or groups, unless it’s the government, but I am not tolerant nevertheless.

I am not a man who is tied heavily to a doctrine that causes him to be narrow in his humanity or intellect.

I am not a man who is afraid of manual labor.

I am not a man who relies on alcohol, drugs, or any activity to be an obsession and an exclusion from others, but I do have some very strong areas of focus and commitment.

I am a man who deploys his leavings around the house....newspapers, corks, socks, wrappers... As though to say it is always someone else's job to follow me, but I am aware of this habit and attempt to make up for it in my cooking and addiction to doing the laundry. The flowers that I also leave all over the place and of course, my humble love and tenderness, which also translates into the rest of the relationship.

I am a man who does help you to grow sexually through our intimacy and I value sex, yet strive more towards completeness and not just the act itself.

I am a man who does not reflect on his behavior towards others, but I am thoughtful about my love and how she thinks and feels.

I am a man, who does open doors for you, and hope for and often pray that you will seek to open a door for me every now and then.

I am a man who is not often well groomed, but I seek to please you with my appearance, even if I know you can not see me.

I am a man who is not present when he's present, but I will always seek to say so when I can, and you are more than welcome to invite me in, on those occasions when you see that I am out..........there!

I am a man who doesn't understand and like romance............lol!

I am a man who does like his woman getting harmless attention (looks, etc) from men, though overly flirty can be addictive.

I am a man who knows a big and foolish mistake is to take you for granted.

I am not a man who lacks passion and hasn't used his own experiences, good and not, to energize his life.

I am not a man who criticizes you for things you like as though they are silly, even when to me, they may indeed be.

I am not a man who feels "female" activities are somehow less than "male" ones. Like having lunch with a girlfriend is a silly hen coffee clutch thing, but having a beer with the boys is the real thing. Or, one who objects to you having a beer with the boys, maybe.

I am not A man, who doesn't see YOU as you are,
nor often do I want you to be to me whoever it is I may think I need to you to be for my unresolved issues and partially broken heart.

Truly, I just like people to be themselves and therefore open to the honesty
that dwells within us both!

Something else to consider:

What's It All About?

Life isn't about keeping score.
It's not about how many friends you have.
Nor about if you have plans this weekend or if you're alone.

It isn't about who you're dating, who you used to date,
how many people you've dated,
or if you haven't been with anyone at all.

It isn't about who you have kissed, it's not about sex.
It isn't about who your family is or how much money they have.
Or what kind of car you drive.
Or where you went to school.

It's not about how beautiful or ugly you are.
Or what clothes you wear, what shoes you have on,
or what kind of music you listen to.

It's not about if your hair is blonde, red, black, or brown.
Or if your skin is too light or too dark.

It's not about what grades you get, how smart you are,
how smart everybody else thinks you are,
or how smart standardized tests say you are.

It's not about what clubs you're in or how good you are at "your" sport.
It's not about representing your whole being on a piece of paper
and seeing who will "accept the written you.

"But, life is about who you love and who you hurt.
It's about who you make happy or unhappy purposefully.
It's about keeping or betraying trust.

It's about friendship, used as a sanctity or a weapon.
It's about what you mean and say, maybe hurtful, maybe heartening.
It's about starting rumors and contributing to petty gossip.
It's about what judgments you pass and why.

And who your judgments are spread to.

It's about who you've ignored with full control and intention.
It's about jealousy, fear, ignorance, and revenge.
It's about carrying inner hate or love, letting it grow, and spreading it.

But most of all;
It's about using your life to touch or poison other people's hearts
in such a way that could have never occurred alone.

Only you choose the way those hearts are affected,
and those choices are what life's all about.


~~author unknown