Relationships work beautifully when the man focuses much of his attention on the woman’s growth and development. In this way, the woman is lit up and happy with his kindness and direction, and this ease of happiness flows through to his life as well.
As I'm sure you well know:
"If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"
Therefore, it's in both of your interests for him to learn how to pay attention, and understand your needs and wants. In fact he wants to know this (!), even if instinctively, he’s afraid to admit it. However, it's highly likely that your partner has not been trained in how to pay proper attention to his woman. The result is that way too often, both of you focus on the global relationship, which just leaves the woman frustrated and wanting more.
More of what? Attention and direction from her man!
Yes - attention. As a woman, you should have it, you deserve it, and you'll both have way much more pleasure, as he learns how to provide it.
In fact - he wants you to be happy! He just doesn't always know how to best accomplish this. OR - he hasn't yet discovered how to win from giving you this attention.Honestly, in our shallow, conditioned world, much of a woman’sattractiveness or value in society comes from two sources: 1) her youthful beauty, and 2) her ability to bear children.
Unfortunately, both diminish with age, with the result that a woman might be considered less 'marketable' as she gets older. (By contrast, a man gets more marketable as he gets older. As he not only accumulates wealth, power and experience; distinguished when the grey start to appear at his temples)
The stigma that exists for women who are unattached before their youth and fertility start to diminish can cause them to be devalued by society. With this information, we can understand why a woman may feel pressure to attract and 'keep' the man in the relationship using whatever resources she has, including having sex with her partner out of a sense of obligation, instead of respect and reverance.
But in reality, the best way to prosper in a relationship with a man, is to educate yourself and him about what you already know as a woman, and about the things that you need to learn in order to be a better woman, not just for him, but for your children, your family, and yourself!
In this, well-meaning men (masters of the world contained within the relationship) can compensate for, or reverse this by paying more positive and effective attention to the women in their lives. An exercise you can do to help facilitate this is to schedule one hour with your partner (or a close female friend if you are currently single) within the next three days. Mention the issues discussed above, as it is youunderstand them, and then, ask her what it's like to grow up being a woman. LISTEN ;-)
Learn how best to discuss your own feelings and desires with your man, so that he can learn how you came to be, and who you’re willing to become within the context of your relationship together.
For practice is how we learn best, and to be affective teachers of those we love, we’re going to have to understand how best to translate our needs into words that can be readily understood and put into practice, in our lives, in our loves, in all of our relationships.
Valentines Day approaches. Please don't let it go down to cheap candy and plastic sentiments. Reach deep, willing yourself to learn how to love, and to surrender yourself to that love in a way that nourishes and sustains your growth as we both continue to age, gracefully!
About Me
- Edward Thomas
- More than just a Man, but also, a human being as well; Me, I'm just as often found @ the center of the struggle, but never as someones absent minded follower. True enough, I love my Mother, and though I'm eager to be perfect, I actually prefer to be nice, than have my own way! When asked, my closest friends would say that I am often in the company of the wind: The Wind(a dear friend of mine since birth) and I are often near and around you, and though, we're not always seen or felt near you, it's always better understood within you. Odd I know, but true nonetheless. True, not unlike the truth contained withing the thought of me flying would appear, but then again, when the wind wills, well, often I've awoken in strange places and had to patiently await his return, so as to get back home again. Luckily, he never lingers long, for it's hard enough explaining my discernment (of)to people. Imagine the after shock of a early morning phone call from Cleveland???
