How do others know you?
Do they see the same person you know yourself to be?
Do they see your fears, your hopes and dreams, your successes, your pain, all you’ve learned, all you haven’t?
Or do they see a mask that you’ve put in front of your face to hide that which is deep inside you, so that you can “be” somebody else instead?
These are some of the pressing questions that confront us as we seek to live more authentically. Considering them takes time. Going more deeply, how do you see yourself? Are you aware of the difference between the real person you are on the inside and the person you show to the world?
Do you know you wear this mask?
Do you even know who the “real you” is?
Heavy questions. If you haven’t turned aside by now with the discomfort it may evoke in you, congratulations.
Discomfort is one of the strings that holds the mask on.
What to do now? Two steps can move you toward a more genuine life:
Understand. It usually helps to have a mental picture of what’s going on inside you. From that, you can develop a first-hand experiential picture (see below). Think of two circles, one inside the other. The small circle in the center is the genuine, free, honest, heart-centered you. The much larger, outer circle is made up of all your life lessons, fears, pain, discomfort, opinions and judgments -- about yourself and about life. Because the inner circle (you) is hidden inside the outer one, the “face you present to the world” is made up of stuff that isn’t even you. It’s your mask. It’s how others see you. It may even be the person you think is the real you. On to part 2.
Inquire. The way to set the real you free is to dismantle the mask, the “false face” you are presenting to the world. The way you do that is to start to get to know yourself very well, possibly for the first time. It doesn’t matter so much right now how the mask got there, but it came from all the “lessons” you were taught about how life is, and from the fears you took on as a result of those lessons. Your mask protects you from your fears (but denies you authentic living). Perhaps on your own, and more likely with outside help (a coach, maybe) you can learn to observe your own thoughts, behaviors, feelings, and body responses -- all clues to pieces of your mask. Here is where the value of experiential lessons comes in: when you can see and feel your own reality in new ways (despite the admitted discomfort it causes), you’ll easily be able to take action in new ways, ways that help you let go of the parts of you that just “aren’t you,” exposing that genuine self to the world.
It turns out that, even if you are unconscious of wearing a mask, it still drains a huge amount of your energy. Not being your genuine self drains you in the way of frustration, resentment and dissatisfaction with life.
Once you let go of the mask, truly accept the real you underneath, and allow yourself to live from the depth of your own heart and truth, life gets easier and easier. Instead of fighting with life, you merge with its natural rhythm and flow.
A River Runs Through It [Life lessons offered by rivers]
A river seems to have many faces. It may be a raging torrent in the springtime. It may overflow its banks after a heavy rain. It may be an early-summer mirror, lazily reflecting deep-blue sky and puffy clouds. It may dry up with the summer’s heat, exposing its bed to the world. Yet no matter what face it presents, a river isn’t covering up for something, hiding from part of itself. In every day of its life, a river is just working (genuinely) with “what is.” Perhaps it is this authenticity in rivers that evokes such peace in us, and offers us that connection in life that we long for so deeply inside. Perhaps the river is there to help us believe in that same power in ourselves.
About Me
- Edward Thomas
- More than just a Man, but also, a human being as well; Me, I'm just as often found @ the center of the struggle, but never as someones absent minded follower. True enough, I love my Mother, and though I'm eager to be perfect, I actually prefer to be nice, than have my own way! When asked, my closest friends would say that I am often in the company of the wind: The Wind(a dear friend of mine since birth) and I are often near and around you, and though, we're not always seen or felt near you, it's always better understood within you. Odd I know, but true nonetheless. True, not unlike the truth contained withing the thought of me flying would appear, but then again, when the wind wills, well, often I've awoken in strange places and had to patiently await his return, so as to get back home again. Luckily, he never lingers long, for it's hard enough explaining my discernment (of)to people. Imagine the after shock of a early morning phone call from Cleveland???
