Monday, January 31, 2005

I write Becasue

I write because the alternative is to (re)act without a complete thought.

Actually, I write because in writing I find myself, my passion, an outlet for my anger, and a way to live beyond just a pay check. In writing, I often find the core of a person that usually is not readily apparent or discerned any other way.

Interesting then, that we would come to this point again, after all that we just pushed our way through, but I guess that is the way of it all. Intension's, as in my determination to say to you that you were not alone, are all about desiring to reach out and into another being in whom I found(find) compassion, tenderness, and a deeply abiding need to receive love and acceptance.

As you had stated in that initial moment, in your life, there was a one who respected and revered you, and your desire was to be all that you were capable of being with that man. Me, I have been most supportive of that, and have never wavered from my desire to just see you happily released from those past experiences we so easily talked about.

Therefore, my intension's are to always be to you a great and wonderful friend, someone who you learn to trust and respect and discover a desire to be yourself with. Sure, on the other side of your relationship(s), I would welcome a chance to put into practice, all the things that we will have learned about each other, but that is not the goal, nor the prize of our being together now, nor in the future.

A one in who you find peace and honor, Love and acceptance is my aim, no matter what you and I become. For like you, many is the chance, and plenty is the opportunity, but not often do either of us meet a one like what we have discovered in the other here.

So my intension is to see that grow and develop.

If in the between of all that, I meet and marry another, I hope you would honor all that we have shared by coming to the event and offering a toast, I would!

Limitations then are something that if you feel you need, who am I to say your wrong.
Yes, there have been many a bad and uncomfortable moments for you in your life as it revolved around men, but I am a Man after all. Not someone acting like a man, or playing at being a man, but an actual living, breathing, soul searching and redeeming Man!

Someone who you can actually trust and depend upon. True enough, we do have a great non verbal relationship developing and if that's all you have to offer, well who am I to offer an argument? Commitment to your well being and solace for your soul is the perspective that I am working from, and yes, I really do wish you had that in mind for me too, but, we both know that no one can be themselves when trapped in a box, so if your unwilling to take the goodness that you feel when we connect and allow that to thrive and prosper out in the open, well maybe that is something to consider to.

The phone is revealing, true enough.

Actually, while breathing just now, I think you did to!

Maybe there is a danger to this, but for me, I do not see it, nor am I capable of understanding it. Together, we had a great time and shared a beautiful moment. Me, I truly desire to have more of that. Should it be not something that you believe will be as rewarding and as enriching as this, well then I must be wrong about you too................................

Truly, in writing, I can and do reach others.

And I like that too!