Not that this is what'll happen to You;

But me, I choose to believe in Love.

The kind that is real now, and the kind that becomes so, after time...
...you though, as the night comes back around, and the candles flicker as the chocolate disappears, please, consider this one aspect of the holiday to come; will you, and how much should you, feel regret for what you'll accept, just to have something to talk about on Monday?

Not that I'm being pessimistic, for I Love Valentines day, the flowers and the poems, seem sweeter when so many get to share. But for me professionally, the weeks thereafter are my 2nd. busiest time of the year, do to all the wholes found in hearts that knew better, but wanted to live in the moment, and not themselves!

Anyhoo, be blessed as you go tonight and tomorrow, and remember, not unlike the Easter Bunny, Cupid is just another way to justify an up-tick in consumer activity, not some celestial happening that flows abundantly.

You, you need to be the same woman on Tuesday, as you are today. Otherwise, you'll be on my couch in that position that costs the most, and not that one, that pays the greatest dividends....

Reality is ugly, but that, I think is the point!

Giving, and seeking, and striving, and measuring, are all conceits that lead to nothing. Just as love isn't something to be meted out, or placed upon a scale, we, in our worldly view(s), we lose sight of the essential beauties around us, because of all the comparatives.

Plus, I like the Harlequin Romance fantasies!

Life is as simple as breathing, and when we treat it that way, we have less waste, less fraud, less abusive experiences. Which is why accepting what it is, is so much easier, than making it, what it's not. Love, and get it over with! Start with the kid who bags your groceries. Allow yourself the freedom to accept, and endure, without perfection, and your heart, as well as your spirit, will breath easier...

I'm glad you asked it that way;

Me, I’ve been living as usual. Working @ the church, we’re I’m(in no real order) IT support, developer of the Singles Ministry, 1st. Friday events coordinator, and head up the Broadcast ministry(not that you’ve listened online), and a few times a month, I’m singing with one of the worship teams.

Of course, I have my (ir)regular jobs coaching, which as I cut back, frees up for more service @ the church, but, it does keep me grounded to a more global reality, which being a bon vivant @ heart, you need around here. Plus, my family owns a property management company that serves Jackson & Josephine counties, and as my mum ages, I’ve been doing more of the project managing, but, I do find to write, cook, entertain, walk the river ways, and think of you, so I think, all & all, I have no legitimate complaints!

So, in order to answer, what I believe is the root question(s), yes, I do see people in the real, as it were, and yes, the guest house is open to most travelers, but, I am not interested in what I can readily find, for in that, what would be the joy?

Life is about living in the now(cave men had no time for planning), exploring the vistas that surround us all, and of course, breathing deep enough, to expel all the dead air within us, and breath afresh!

You, you need not live that way, but as for me and my house, life is a precious gift, that when its gone, regrets are not what worries us….

Obsequious

Origin: 1375–1425; late ME < L obsequiōsus, equiv. to obsequi(um) compliance (obsequ(ī) to comply with (ob- ob- + sequī to follow) + -ium -ium ) + -ōsus -ous

Obsequious has the root sequus meaning "to follow", and so an obsequy is the last duty performed for a person after their death, while an obsequious person is someone who "follows after" or is eager to be a follower;

Me, oddly enough, I meet people who are emotionally dying all the time, and it seems to me, that lately(the after Bush Year), I've walked far more back from the brink than usual, and no, I don't usually count, but my accountant reminds.

Anyhoo, me, how is it that I have no one to follow, or for that matter, the desire to follow another? Seems weird in that, why me Lord, kind of a way, but reversed!

The only way I can describe is to admit, that I now understand why some very powerful men have a strong desire for demanding wives, they crave someone else making the decision other than themselves!

Like cheap Spanish Champagne, I know this craving will displease me soon, but for the recurring moments that it's with me, I'm reminded that the reason why I put so much time into the radio station(www.kcgp.org) is that out there somewhere, is someone who needs to hear what's being broadcast, and if I'm called to serve in that way, I need to be about it!

Obsequious;
It means that I don't always have to lead, and that I surrender to the reality, that in order to do so affectively, I have to submit myself, to Him, who does...

Just to clear it up(for myself) then;

Honestly, I'm never mad when I should be, just as I am never sad, just because it looks like I might want to be. For myself, I choose life, and in that, I choose to live my life more abundantly! You, you may be mad, or glad, happy or sad, about the decisions you've made, and in that, I may have some part to play.

But in this, I am just responsible for me.

I live, I love, I invite, reject, console, offer condolences, and stay connected to those who respect the limits of our engagement, anything less than that dignifies disrespect, and why would I want to do that, when I'm the one that made the choice to allow you so close?

Friendship, like love requires an understanding.

Circumstances change, and relationships do too, but the disconnect that starts from not revealing the truth until after the choice has been made is not my fault, even when another states that they kept it to themselves, because they knew I wouldn't approve. Funny, if I know going in, what the consequence is, that usually keeps the mistakes to a minimum.

Anyhoo, I'm never turning away, as much as I get turned that way.

In that, I guess the lesson is be honest with me(and yourself), and that way, when you're in over your head, I'm not the one who misses your cry for help.

Calm
Patience
Clarity

All these are the best answer to any question.
But you knew that...

For all the men I knew in this year passing(3);

Anyone ever tell you why women are so complicated?

In the New Year, let this guide how you interact with your own woman, and any we may share as friends. Women, woman are generally credited with a much higher E.Q. (emotional intelligence) than us. And they also tend to have a greater awareness of other people, and emotions. In this way, women also tend to have greater access to their own wider range of emotions.

Whereas we will often complain about women thinking illogically (because 'logically' and 'rationally' is the only valid way to think- or so we often assume!) and going through mood swings, what we need to recognize is that we'd never want to be in a world populated only by men, because (oddly enough) we have emotions as well, and we usually only express them completely, in the company of Woman!

Women also give us greater access to this wider range of our own feeling, and it's through their expressed joy(s) and exultations, that we're pulled to even greater heights as human beings, just as it's through their sorrow and tears, that we explore our saddest depths.

This, if we're really honest about it, is what we like about them.

Anyhoo, this is why, in the New Year, I'm asking you(men) to put more attention and effort on what your lover wants; more attention on making her happy, as well as deeply contented with your presence in her life.

A Woman's life is enhanced and magnified through the experience of their partner, and though we rarely talk about this, when your relationship with this woman is over, the lack of an enhanced and magnified experience, is what makes it so hard for you, to replace her with a better woman.

For the last Jack(!), just like your self, has left his ex empty as well!

See how this can snowball? It's been said:
"The life of a man on his own, is predictable and black and white.
The life of a man with a woman is Technicolor and covered in glory."

But this is what I say:
In the New Year, be a man worthy of being connected to.
For the next woman you choose to try this with, may have had experienced less,
than she deserved before you!

And me, I'm still getting tired of righting all these wrongs…..

You deserve to live your dream(w/out me);

When it all boils down; You deserve to live your dream.

The dream that you have held onto, for what seems like forever. You deserve a person who looks at you with adoring eyes, some one who understands when your mood changes, and then, changes again.

You deserve the one who Listens, & hears, Not only your words, but your heart!
Remember, you deserve to live your dream;

Wait patiently for the one who will dance with you, even when there is no music, that one who will read to you, even when there's no book. Singing your favorite song to you, although off key, in time, to your own special rhythm(s).
You deserve to live your dream;

Evenly yoked, unafraid not to pray, with you, and for you.
A one that has planned past all your schemes.
The one that will catch you, if you decide to lean back,
The one whose words are, transformed into your actions...

You, you deserve to live your dream(s), w/out me;

So, go into the New Year, and do not allow yesterday, nor yesteryear,
to cloud your judgment, dreams, and visions about tomorrow!

Just take care and make sure that you are prepared to receive that dream, you keep dreaming though. For it just might turn out to become your own self inflicted, nightmare!

Happy New Year nonetheless...

The week(and the year) concludes;

And I'm left with the Joy of all that was yesterday,
and the unforgiving reality of feeding the homeless again today!

Joy though, it'll last well pass the moment you've forgotten about it, and in that, my heart isn't as heavy as it was when the power went out, but in truth, I'll always find love wherever I am, so with that(and the powers return), I'm happy still...

1st of all, the movie comes out this week nationwide;

and 2ndly:

Very poetic and soothing, true enough, but without words that comfort, how can a man get his viewpoint accepted fully? And in your words, I can see that you heard(saw) what I was saying, so we were all blessed!

And yes, having a relationship that solidifies your basic human needs, without undoing the years of independence can be quite a challenge, when most are under the impression that the only way to hold another, is to contain them, in some symbolic way, that’s easily explained to friends and family.

And in that, I know that under the mistletoe, a few will be tempted to change their direction, just for a second of that hallmark ideal of a relationship, but please, remember that almost all those tears shed, are directly related to surrendering into what seemed good and pleasing to others, even though deep inside, you knew that the time had come, to move past just wanting to come again, this time!

Me, it was a great weekend, and even though Jean had her security detail in my dossier again.
Eugene wasn't long enough, nor did many people come out for the "Festival of Lights".

Next time I'm singing in Redding...

Things even I believe(author unknown);

"I Believe;

That just because two people argue,
it doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
That we don't have to change friends,
if we understand that friends change.
That no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a
while and you must forgive them for that.
That true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

"I Believe;

That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life. That it is taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.
That we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.

"I Believe;

That either you control your attitude, or it controls you.
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done,
when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
That money is a lousy way of keeping score. That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time. That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.
That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

"I Believe;

That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief. That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for whom we become. That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret,
for it could change your life, forever.

"I Believe;

Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours, by people who don't even know you. That even when you think you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you ~ you will find the strength to help.
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

"I Believe;

What lies behind us and what lies before us are infinitesimal matters, compared to what lies between, and within us."

A holiday story(via Terri) edited;

A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, Doctor, I’m afraid to die. Can you tell me what lies on the other side?
Very quietly, the doctor said, I don't know!

You don't know? You're a Christian man, and you don't know what's on the other side? The doctor was just then holding the handle of the door; and on the other side of that door, came the sound of very excited, scratching and whining. And as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room, and leaped upon him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said, did you notice my dog reaction? He's never been in this room before, and he didn't know what was inside. Actually, he knew nothing except that his master was in here, and when the door opened, he sprang in to me, without any fear whatsoever. So, I may know a little of what’s on the other side of death, But I do know one thing for sure, I know my Master is there, and that is enough.

So as you venture up and over hill and dale this holiday season, remember this:
May you trust God openly, that you are exactly where you are meant to be every moment between now, and when your steps are no longer your own.

1st of all, the movie comes out this week nationwide;

and 2ndly:

Very poetic and soothing, true enough, but without words that comfort, how can a man get his viewpoint accepted fully? And in your words, I can see that you heard(saw) what I was saying, so we were all blessed!

And yes, having a relationship that solidifies your basic human needs, without undoing the years of independence can be quite a challenge, when most are under the impression that the only way to hold another, is to contain them, in some symbolic way, that’s easily explained to friends and family.

And in that, I know that under the mistletoe, a few will be tempted to change their direction, just for a second of that hallmark ideal of a relationship, but please, remember that almost all those tears shed, are directly related to surrendering into what seemed good and pleasing to others, even though deep inside, you knew that the time had come, to move past just wanting to come again, this time!

Me, it was a great weekend, and even though Jean had her security detail in my dossier again. Eugene wasn't long enough, nor did many people come out for the "Festival of Lights".

Next time
I'm singing in Redding...

Going out on a limb

No matter how many times we think about it, the truth remains that what we really want, is another who cares enough about us to listen. A one who delights in our company, enjoys our subtleties, and embraces the outline of our convictions.

Should that not be what you think, I understand.
But I thought it was worth sharing.

So, whereas I am human, Ideally, I like meeting the same; Someone within whom lives a creative soul and a loving heart. Not prone to anger or disruption, yet willing to express an opinion that doesn't make apologies! Great looking on the inside would be a plus. Anyone can buy and apply make up, so the container is not as important as that which it contains!

Surely my eyes can see and my hands will feel, but always when the road grows rocky, it is better to have a good person by your side and not just someone who is good looking! A willingness to get your hands dirty is a plus.
As is a love for life and a willingness to move beyond the past into the present!

In the between though, I really just like being myself....

Nothing makes a difference, w/out change(ing) too;

Sure enough, pain has no off season and yes,
false friends will at least do it to you while facing forward.

But more often than not, it is we, who just need a better perspective on our own lives, needs and desires, in order see more clearly, those in front of us, who really can make a holistic difference in our futures, and move directly pass,
those who never did, in the past!

Church now, and then Eugene for lunch.

Much love to the strong, and more than just gentle passion to those who are feeling weak this weekend. Remember though, there is a better way, but you'll never find it if you're unwilling to change the direction of your longing.

As for you, chin up!

She's watching you,
and she will become You, no matter what you tell her differently....

Great questions all;

And yet, how do I answer them?

Surely, it's much better to be loved, than to have a one who can only smell your lust. And yes, as long as the sun shines, in order to enjoy another, it will always be better have them want the inner you, rather than need to be within you.

But, some just are really needy!

For me then, on the other side of the upcoming holiday, it's just easier to work through the week, than it is to worry about the soon to be, weekend, but then again, I like change. Which isn't my way of saying I can't be still, more than it's my real desire, to not become stagnate.

For you, and for all those like yourself, even I, and not that it has to be hard to know the difference(s), between a man who wants you, while he so busy explaining why you're just what he's looking for. But try this; realize that what he's looking @, might not be you at all. For when his hands are upon you, and his lust is in front of you, how is it that you're even in his natural view? Now that's a better question, than any answer I can provide.

Life, like love has more to do with how you feel, than, how you feel.
If you get my overall meaning!

Yes, even I love how another looks, but then again, even I know that when the rains pour down, even the most durable top soil can be washed away, under the pounding!

Love yourself, and others will want too as well.

Love your outer appearance, and even I'll seek to impale you on my manly desire, while just as easily forgetting that the real you isn't just something that I behold, as it is a someone that I affectionately, empirically, eternally, hold.

And on that note, off to the studio.

Which, if I didn't mention it before, provides me with a means to tell where it is any, and everyone is listening from(internet streaming is like that). So to say that you listened over the weekend(s) past, only reveals that between us, for you, there's an unnecessary need to say what isn't necessarily true.

What a shame that is.

But then again, it could be the reason why he used the drapes
instead of a warm cloth...

Just for the hope that lingers within;

"Tell me you don't sleep at night, I know
Because of how things have been
Tell me how you just don't trust your life to someone

Don't trust that love can win
Just as sure as God lives in my heart I'll say
Take heart, it won't say this way

If there's one thing you can count on
If there's one thing you can know for sure
If there's one thing you can count on
Things are gonna change

If there's one thing you can count on
Things are gonna change

I'm sure it's hard to be where you are now
Won't say I've been there before
But I'll be at your side in silence
Words are wasted before a broken heart
Where I've failed in the past to be there for you
You'll find this truth comin' through

If there's one thing you can count on
If there's one thing you can know for sure
If there's one thing you can count on
Things are gonna change, oh yeah
If there's one thing you can count on
Things are gonna change

Oh, don't give up,
Well, I've seen some hard things
I never thought that I would ever smile again
Holdin' on when I feel half-hearted
I keep my faith without a way to explain it

'Cause I believe it won't always be like this everyday
Hold on, and trust what I say
If there's one thing
If there's one thing

If there's one thing God has promised
Things are gonna change,
If there's one thing you can count on
Things are gonna change

Things are gonna change

Gotta have a little faith
Maybe add a little trust
Add a lot o' love
You see your gonna rise above the things that are so rough
'Cause we have a hope
Things are gonna change"


Bryan Duncan

I've also learned that:

The beauty of caring, isn't so much in being the one cared for, or about even. For the beauty of caring is how it reminds me of my own humanity, and grace. And as the world spins presently underneath us, that's a good feeling that can't be readily packaged, and/or found locally!

Anyhoo, busy is what you do, and I'm sure your life's still a hand full right now, but, maybe one day, when you've backed away from those flashing lights that blind you still, I know you'll find more than enough time to share a moment and that hug, which will warm more than both of our lives.

Me, I'll continue to live with the eagerness which keeps us both tethered, though disconnected in this moment, for I know the future awaits us, in the distance unseen!


So be blessed my busy one.


And yes, I miss your voice(words) too....

In the distance

That has grown between us, I'm still stuck with wondering what you're thinking. Stuck with wondering if this is a barrier you're erecting, or just an extended seperation, until you can come to terms with that part of yourself, that you've yet to reveal to me. Still, I do think about you my reluctant one.

Wondering what the weather is like around you. If the dog(cat) is happy, things that I can only imagine, but, I like to imagine what life is like outside of my own, but still, I wonder about you.

Well, we have Red Rain(Christian Rcck band from New Zealand) coming in today around 4:30, concert @ 6:00, so I have a busy day ahead, but before I lost myself in my own world, I just wanted to walk across the bridge to your own and say hello...

sí haría una diferencia?

So yes, I live in the Rogue Valley, and more often than not, I’m on the 5 heading south out of the mountains, if not but to just to remind myself that large green covered hills are walls of nature, but still, walls nonetheless!

And, thinking in the distance, the one thing that I always recall about a good friendship, is the sound of water. The rushing of a stream or the splatter on an uneven surface, each of these refresh and recharge the water, which is to me, is what most connections are missing, even as it begins anew for some.

So no, I’m not the next guy in a series, or a variation on the themes the last one employed either, and in that I think , may live the key to a different outcome for us both!. Unless of course, you’re looking to repeat what created the void that made this meeting possible, and in that case, there’ll be no need to write me back!

In the between, please enjoy the week as it unfolds for you….

Reality requires understanding,

and when we miss a B/Day, or forget to call after stating that we would, sometimes, feelings get disturbed.

As for myself, if I'm not sure a person is married, or expecting,
it helps, when they tell me, or I think to ask them myself!

All of which brings me back to reality,
a place that w/out understanding is very stark indeed!